Just Joking

Hurls · Hurls

A Sunday School teacher was testing children in a Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. 'I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I...

Hurls · Hurls

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notic...

Hurls · Hurls

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from The hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

dING · dING

The final accessory for a mans shed.

arthur · arthur

The dog lady wrote; "Honestly, I think it's getting so I might have to get govt permission to carry the porta-potti ." http://thegreynomads.activeboard.com/t57143336/sedan-conversion/So I thought I might draw up the application form. See attached

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The "Old Golfer" A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lio...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading forSalford station leaned over to ask the driver a questionAnd gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearlyHit a bus, drove up over the kerb and stopped just Inches from a large plate window.Fo...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

A bloke is involved in a road accident and sends a text message to his wife from the Emergency Room. "Hi love. Please don't worry but a car has hit me as I came out of the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays since I regained consciousness. The blow t...

Vic41 · Vic41

Peeing on the Flowers A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills fa...

Yendorane · Yendorane

Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

SEX FROGS Only $20 each! Comes with complete instructions. The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybodys watching her.She whispers softly to the man behind the counter,Ill TAKE one! As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her,Just follow the instructions! The blonde nods, grabs th...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Colon All the organs of the body were having a meeting, Trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said thebrain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said theblood, "Becau...

Peterpan · Peterpan

(Nothing related to the vertically challenged.) Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks? If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we know? Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why do we wash bath towels, aren't we cl...

dING · dING

Use the Taser Mick ------------- Use the bloody Taser -- Edited by dING on Tuesday 1st of April 2014 09:48:57 AM

Yendorane · Yendorane

A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' 'Of course child. What can I do for you?' 'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscat...

Vic41 · Vic41

Ed and Linda met on a singles cruise; Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts,...

Rob49 · Rob49

The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster. My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I...

copper1 · copper1

MUM'S BIBLE. Four brothers left home for University, and they became successful doctors And lawyers. One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They Discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to the Gold Coast . The first said, "You kn...

Yendorane · Yendorane

1. A man comes into the ER and yells. . . 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady?s dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Fra...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to get to Heaven from Ireland (Preview) A Sunday School teacher was testing children in a Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. 'I asked them, ' If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I...	Hurls	0	567	08:00 PM Apr 3, 2014 by Hurls
	A.A.A.D.D. - KNOW THE SYMPTOMS (Preview) A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notic...	Hurls	0	690	07:57 PM Apr 3, 2014 by Hurls
	Little Johnnie (Preview) Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from The hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no...	Hurls	0	590	07:53 PM Apr 3, 2014 by Hurls
	FOREST... Profound question... (Preview)	Gunsondeck	2	784	05:41 PM Apr 3, 2014 by bill12
	a downpip (Preview) The final accessory for a mans shed.	dING	1	594	05:28 PM Apr 3, 2014 by Baz421
	Porta Potty Transport Application Form (Preview) The dog lady wrote; "Honestly, I think it's getting so I might have to get govt permission to carry the porta-potti ." http://thegreynomads.activeboard.com/t57143336/sedan-conversion/So I thought I might draw up the application form. See attached	arthur	3	731	11:54 PM Apr 2, 2014 by The dog lady
	THE OLD GOLFER;; (Preview) The "Old Golfer" A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lio...	justcruisin01	0	825	07:54 PM Apr 2, 2014 by justcruisin01
	Taxi (Preview) Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading forSalford station leaned over to ask the driver a questionAnd gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearlyHit a bus, drove up over the kerb and stopped just Inches from a large plate window.Fo...	Gunsondeck	0	581	06:34 PM Apr 2, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	I'M O.K. LUV. (Preview) A bloke is involved in a road accident and sends a text message to his wife from the Emergency Room. "Hi love. Please don't worry but a car has hit me as I came out of the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays since I regained consciousness. The blow t...	Gunsondeck	0	583	06:32 PM Apr 2, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	Peeing On The Flowers..... (Preview) Peeing on the Flowers A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills fa...	Vic41	0	752	01:41 PM Apr 2, 2014 by Vic41
	Gotta love the Irish (Preview) Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'	Yendorane	1	717	10:37 AM Apr 2, 2014 by Ame25
	SEX FROGS;; (Preview) SEX FROGS Only $20 each! Comes with complete instructions. The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybodys watching her.She whispers softly to the man behind the counter,Ill TAKE one! As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her,Just follow the instructions! The blonde nods, grabs th...	justcruisin01	0	721	07:10 PM Apr 1, 2014 by justcruisin01
	COLONOSCOPY; (Preview) *Colon* All the organs of the body were having a meeting, Trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said thebrain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said theblood, "Becau...	justcruisin01	2	775	03:29 PM Apr 1, 2014 by mongrel
	Short jokes (Preview) (Nothing related to the vertically challenged.) Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks? If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we know? Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why do we wash bath towels, aren't we cl...	Peterpan	0	583	10:10 AM Apr 1, 2014 by Peterpan
	Irish Police (Preview) Use the Taser Mick ------------- Use the bloody Taser -- Edited by dING on Tuesday 1st of April 2014 09:48:57 AM	dING	0	560	09:48 AM Apr 1, 2014 by dING
	Getting A Hairdryer Through Customs (Preview) A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' 'Of course child. What can I do for you?' 'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscat...	Yendorane	0	741	09:18 AM Apr 1, 2014 by Yendorane
	Ed & Linda....A Love Story.... (Preview) Ed and Linda met on a singles cruise; Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts,...	Vic41	0	702	03:16 AM Apr 1, 2014 by Vic41
	A few more (Preview) The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster. My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I...	Rob49	1	718	04:36 PM Mar 31, 2014 by Peterpan
	Mum's Bible (Preview) MUM'S BIBLE. Four brothers left home for University, and they became successful doctors And lawyers. One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They Discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to the Gold Coast . The first said, "You kn...	copper1	0	568	10:44 AM Mar 31, 2014 by copper1
	EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS (Preview) 1. A man comes into the ER and yells. . . 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady?s dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Fra...	Yendorane	0	884	09:34 AM Mar 31, 2014 by Yendorane
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