Just Joking

kiwijims · kiwijims

A small boy has a school home work question to answer, so he asks his father , "Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His dad thinks and then says, "Right-o son, go and ask your Mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million quid." The...

erad · erad

Q: WHat's black and blue all over, and found floating in Dublin Harbour? A: A person who tells Irish jokes

sheeds · sheeds

With the utmost respect for the Irish and the Kiwis, I still enjoy a joke about them,even the old ones which you may have heard being told. (I wonder when jokes about the Irish and Kiwis started?) Two jokes below unfairly slamdunk the Kiwis!Barry the Aussie builder was going through a house he had just b...

Cadpete · Cadpete

Love this Japanese Doctor! Dr. Yu Tok Kak Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you ext...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Threadneedle Street, Central London and asks for the manager. He tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so Hamish h...

Yarra · Yarra

I'm selling my pet Python on the Internet. A bloke just rang up and asked if it was big. I said, "It's massive." He said, How many feet?" I said none you idiot!."It's a f******g Snake"!!..

Hendo · Hendo

A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, "Bill, your house burnt down!" So he runs outside, but then he thinks, "I don't have a house," so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey. Another guy runs in and...

Lesley F · Lesley F

I hope you laugh as much as I do!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zXXLUkiTs

Lesley F · Lesley F

I've posted this previously, but it's a good laugh - this guy is "cute" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-3cuCEt9k8

Hendo · Hendo

Amazing word lessonThis is the best, most Interesting English lesson I have had to date.Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?Do you know that the word "racecar" spelled backwards still spells "racecar"?And that "eat"...

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpBYnL5fAXE

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Guinness?" The shop assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, If I had asked for Italian saus...

Possum3 · Possum3

As the coffin of a Parking Officer was being lowered into the grave, a voice from inside the coffin screams, Im not dead! Im not dead! Let me out. Let me out. The Vicar smiles, leans forward and, sucking air through his teeth, mutters, Too late, mate. Ive already done the paperwork.

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in."My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done,I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight....

kiwijims · kiwijims

K.J.

kiwijims · kiwijims

Ten Times Normal Size The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,"Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going t...

Yarra · Yarra

Possum3 · Possum3

I thought this was worth posting

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	WHO NEEDS A DICTIONARY WHEN YOU HAVE DADS (Preview) A small boy has a school home work question to answer, so he asks his father , "Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His dad thinks and then says, "Right-o son, go and ask your Mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million quid." The...	kiwijims	0	946	04:05 AM Dec 5, 2015 by kiwijims
	Irish Joke (Preview) Q: WHat's black and blue all over, and found floating in Dublin Harbour? A: A person who tells Irish jokes	erad	0	863	10:10 PM Dec 4, 2015 by erad
	How to keep a Kiwi happy? (Preview) With the utmost respect for the Irish and the Kiwis, I still enjoy a joke about them,even the old ones which you may have heard being told. (I wonder when jokes about the Irish and Kiwis started?) Two jokes below unfairly slamdunk the Kiwis!*Barry the Aussie builder was going through a house he had just b...*	sheeds	1	1250	06:03 PM Dec 4, 2015 by JCT
	Health information (Preview) Love this Japanese Doctor! Dr. Yu Tok Kak Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you ext...	Cadpete	1	1175	05:49 PM Dec 4, 2015 by Felicia
	Ya Gotta love the Irish (Preview) A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as...	Young Simmo	1	902	10:39 AM Dec 4, 2015 by sheeds
	Bank Loan to a Scotsman (Preview) A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Threadneedle Street, Central London and asks for the manager. He tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so Hamish h...	aussie_paul	2	927	10:34 AM Dec 4, 2015 by sheeds
	Python (Preview) I'm selling my pet Python on the Internet. A bloke just rang up and asked if it was big. I said, "It's massive." He said, How many feet?" I said none you idiot!."It's a f******g Snake"!!..	Yarra	1	884	08:08 PM Dec 3, 2015 by rockylizard
	Bill (Preview) A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, "Bill, your house burnt down!" So he runs outside, but then he thinks, "I don't have a house," so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey. Another guy runs in and...	Hendo	0	1053	04:59 PM Dec 3, 2015 by Hendo
	Mrs Brown rehearses for the Virgin Mary (Preview) I hope you laugh as much as I do!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zXXLUkiTs	Lesley F	1	967	04:36 PM Dec 3, 2015 by Felicia
	Gay referee at a soccer match (Preview) I've posted this previously, but it's a good laugh - this guy is "cute" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-3cuCEt9k8	Lesley F	0	902	08:34 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Lesley F
	English Lesson (Preview) Amazing word lessonThis is the best, most Interesting English lesson I have had to date.Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?Do you know that the word "racecar" spelled backwards still spells "racecar"?And that "eat"...	Hendo	5	1249	06:37 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Plain Truth
	Adam Hills on Australian accents - very funny (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpBYnL5fAXE	Lesley F	0	745	01:13 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Lesley F
	Racism.. (Preview) Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Guinness?" The shop assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something, If I had asked for Italian saus...	aussie_paul	1	959	05:50 PM Dec 1, 2015 by Bryan
	Too late. (Preview) As the coffin of a Parking Officer was being lowered into the grave, a voice from inside the coffin screams, Im not dead! Im not dead! Let me out. Let me out. The Vicar smiles, leans forward and, sucking air through his teeth, mutters, Too late, mate. Ive already done the paperwork.	Possum3	0	772	10:47 AM Dec 1, 2015 by Possum3
	Sorry (Preview) A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it...	Young Simmo	1	987	10:09 AM Dec 1, 2015 by Possum3
	A man brings his best buddy home for dinner (Preview) A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in."My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done,I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight....	aussie_paul	0	1033	11:52 AM Nov 30, 2015 by aussie_paul
	incorrect statements (Preview) K.J.	kiwijims	0	1044	06:31 PM Nov 29, 2015 by kiwijims
	little girl with a dirty mind (Preview) Ten Times Normal Size The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,"Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going t...	kiwijims	0	906	06:13 PM Nov 29, 2015 by kiwijims
	Preggers (Preview)	Yarra	0	855	03:52 PM Nov 29, 2015 by Yarra
	She will soon (Preview) I thought this was worth posting	Possum3	2	1096	04:47 PM Nov 26, 2015 by erad
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