Just Joking

Swoffer · Swoffer

Pommy bloke fronts up to Australia house in london to get a visa to visit family over here . Bloke behind the counter asks "do you have a criminal record ?" Pommy bloke sighs and replies " is that STILL a requirement...... " -- Edited by Swoffer on Tuesday 10th of November 2015 03...

Delta18 · Delta18

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic.Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans abo...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Please complete the forms fully

Delta18 · Delta18

1. Teaching Maths In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teac...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Around and around we go

Phillipn · Phillipn

He turned to his wife in bed and whispered, " Did you know it`s National Orgasm Day?" " Oh what a pity," she smiler, " Right in the middle of National Headache Week!!!!!"

Phillipn · Phillipn

This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral. A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he worked for most of his life. A huge heart...... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospi...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

When I arrived at the van park I'm sure I was the only one plug into that pole

gregroz · gregroz

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd really like to ride in that helicopter.'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars' One year Esther and Morris went to t...

Yarra · Yarra

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... My wife and I were watching Who Want...

Possum3 · Possum3

1. Im reading a great book on anti-gravity. I cant put it down. 2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnt seem to be gaining momentum. 3. Why cant atheists solve exponential equations? Because they dont believe in higher powers. 4. Schrodingers cat walks into a bar. And doesnt. 5. Do you know the nam...

Yarra · Yarra

"Hello?", "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mum...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Poem by Willie Nelson The younger generation may not know it but at one time Willie Nelson was songwriter of the year. Such songs as "Hello Wall", "Crazy" sung by Patsy Cline ,"Funny how Time Slips Away" and a host of other favorites. He is also a well recogniz...

Possum3 · Possum3

The man from Barnsley 1) A Barnsley man goes to the vet: Man : Can yer stopme cat weein all rahnd thouse? Vet: Is it a Tom? Man : Nor, its in tbasket. 18 caret 2) A Yorkshiremans dog dies and and as it was his favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. Yorkshirema...

kiwijims · kiwijims

1 minute 3 seconds of delight, Enjoyhttps://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/vnVuqfXohxc?rel=0&%3bshowinfo=0K.J.

Possum3 · Possum3

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentin...ean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guate...

June · June

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'ma, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. Traffic Cop: Don't have one? Older Woman: No. I lo...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject t o blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have...

June · June

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husba...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Visa (Preview) Pommy bloke fronts up to Australia house in london to get a visa to visit family over here . Bloke behind the counter asks "do you have a criminal record ?" Pommy bloke sighs and replies " is that STILL a requirement...... " -- Edited by Swoffer on Tuesday 10th of November 2015 03...	Swoffer	1	1017	12:03 AM Nov 11, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Don't try to outsmart an 'Oldie'! (Preview) An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic.Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans abo...	Delta18	0	785	12:49 PM Nov 10, 2015 by Delta18
	Accident Reporting (Preview) Please complete the forms fully	Wombat 280	1	840	06:50 PM Nov 9, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Teaching Maths (Preview) 1. Teaching Maths In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teac...	Delta18	0	973	06:20 PM Nov 9, 2015 by Delta18
	Wheel of life (Preview) Around and around we go	Wombat 280	0	842	05:13 PM Nov 9, 2015 by Wombat 280
	National Orgasm Day (Preview) He turned to his wife in bed and whispered, " Did you know it`s National Orgasm Day?" " Oh what a pity," she smiler, " Right in the middle of National Headache Week!!!!!"	Phillipn	0	997	09:42 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Phillipn
	Cardoilogist Funeral (Preview) This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral. A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he worked for most of his life. A huge heart...... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospi...	Phillipn	0	841	09:36 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Phillipn
	OLD Van Parks (Preview) When I arrived at the van park I'm sure I was the only one plug into that pole	Wombat 280	0	844	08:04 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Wombat 280
	Morris & Esther (Preview) Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd really like to ride in that helicopter.'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars' One year Esther and Morris went to t...	gregroz	0	749	07:30 PM Nov 8, 2015 by gregroz
	That's How The Fight Started (Preview) One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started..... My wife and I were watching Who Want...	Yarra	1	884	07:03 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Felicia
	10 Science Jokes for Nerds (Preview) 1. Im reading a great book on anti-gravity. I cant put it down. 2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnt seem to be gaining momentum. 3. Why cant atheists solve exponential equations? Because they dont believe in higher powers. 4. Schrodingers cat walks into a bar. And doesnt. 5. Do you know the nam...	Possum3	4	968	03:35 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Wrong Number (Preview) "Hello?", "Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?" "No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul." "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mum...	Yarra	0	799	07:28 PM Nov 7, 2015 by Yarra
	History with a smile (Preview) Poem by Willie Nelson The younger generation may not know it but at one time Willie Nelson was songwriter of the year. Such songs as "Hello Wall", "Crazy" sung by Patsy Cline ,"Funny how Time Slips Away" and a host of other favorites. He is also a well recogniz...	Young Simmo	3	939	06:25 PM Nov 7, 2015 by Blues Man
	Only people from Yorkshire will understand. (some too bloody hard for my old brain) (Preview) The man from Barnsley 1) A Barnsley man goes to the vet: Man : Can yer stopme cat weein all rahnd thouse? Vet: Is it a Tom? Man : Nor, its in tbasket. 18 caret 2) A Yorkshiremans dog dies and and as it was his favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. Yorkshirema...	Possum3	0	944	11:48 AM Nov 7, 2015 by Possum3
	IF THIS DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE, CALL A DOCTOR ! (Preview) 1 minute 3 seconds of delight, Enjoyhttps://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/vnVuqfXohxc?rel=0&%3bshowinfo=0K.J.	kiwijims	0	891	10:36 AM Nov 7, 2015 by kiwijims
	Protocol (Preview) An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentin...ean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guate...	Possum3	1	759	07:48 AM Nov 7, 2015 by sarg
	A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding........... (Preview) Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'ma, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. Traffic Cop: Don't have one? Older Woman: No. I lo...	June	8	1268	11:59 PM Nov 6, 2015 by Young Simmo
	OK, Take your pick. (Preview) I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject t o blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have...	Young Simmo	0	921	12:34 AM Nov 6, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Beware of that Underwear Dust....... (Preview) One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husba...	June	2	868	03:03 PM Nov 5, 2015 by June
	SORRY if this brakes the rules, but I am not a Golpher. (Preview) A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to...	Young Simmo	1	920	05:47 AM Nov 5, 2015 by sarg
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