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Santa
(Preview)
Dear Santa, I'm writing to tell you I've been naughty and it was worth it. You fat, judgemental bastard.
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Aussie1
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2
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921
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Drinking whiskey
(Preview)
I was drinking whiskey, and the bartender screamed "does anyone know CPR ??? I yelled "I know the entire alphabet" We all laughed and laughed well, except for this one guy.
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Aussie1
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1
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861
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apology
(Preview)
I would like to apologise to anyone I have not yet offended, I will get to you eventually.
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Aussie1
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0
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797
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lol..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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821
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lol..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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875
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Police at door..
(Preview)
Police at door.Just had two police officers at my front door.They asked me, Are you familiar with the letters HB?I said, No, Im not.How about LS? they asked.I replied, No. then they asked, What about JD?I said, Hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something?They said, No, these are just initial inquirie...
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aussie_paul
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0
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828
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The twelve days of Christmas
(Preview)
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me;I=m glad we bought a turkey and a Christmas tree On the second day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard,as we tucked into the turkey - a most delicious bird On the third day we entertained the people next door;The turkey tasted just as good as i...
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erad
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1
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1124
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Take it easy on the roads.
(Preview)
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67HR
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1
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1023
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Kinfolk.
(Preview)
Two good ol' boys in a Arkansas trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local horse trailer manufa...cturing plant:After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd....."If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife whi...
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aussie_paul
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0
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831
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Kinfolk.
(Preview)
Two good ol' boys in a Arkansas trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local horse trailer manufa...cturing plant:After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd....."If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife whi...
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aussie_paul
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0
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690
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Dear Santa.
(Preview)
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rgren2
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0
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850
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Advice
(Preview)
To anybody I offended this year. Work on yourself so I don't gotta do it again in 2025
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Aussie1
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2
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1186
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Dolly Parton
(Preview)
Dolly Parton hasnt spoken to her bra fitter since the two fell out!
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67HR
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0
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897
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An old guy..
(Preview)
An old guy was working out at the gym when he spotted a young hot girl walking in.He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that girl over there?"The trainer looked him up and down and said;"I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."
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aussie_paul
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0
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852
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The Rectum Stretcher
(Preview)
The Rectum StretcherA woman in Ireland driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a policeman with a radar gun lying in wait.The policeman pulled her over, walked up to the car, with a patronising smirk and asked, "What's your hurry?"She replied, "I'm late for work.""Oh yeah," said the p...
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aussie_paul
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0
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690
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How heavy?
(Preview)
A woman noticed her husband trying to weigh himself on the bathroom scale.Each time he stepped on, he started sucking in his stomach.Thats not going to help, darling, said the wife. Trust me.Its already working, the husband said smugly.Now I can see the numbers.
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aussie_paul
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0
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769
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If you ever feel a little bit stupid..
(Preview)
If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)Question: If you could live fore...
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aussie_paul
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0
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745
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A bartender..
(Preview)
A bartender is waiting for closing time at his pub so he can lock up, and go home. Its a slow night and he has no customers.He hears a light knock at the back door, opens it, and there are 2 nuns there. One says, Mr Bartender, can we impose upon you for a wee favor? Certainly, Sister, what is it?Well, its not fo...
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aussie_paul
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0
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674
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I stopped..
(Preview)
I stopped by the Holden Colorado dealership yesterday, for a look at the current 2018 pickup thinking that I might be interested in one of these at the End Of Year runout sales.Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck "feel" before they become old.The seats were of part...
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aussie_paul
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1
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940
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Don’t.
(Preview)
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rgren2
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0
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789
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