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100 LBS OF DYNAMITE...
(Preview)
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a Great chest you have!" He tells her, "That's 100lbs of dynamite Baaaaby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Myy, what massive calves you have!" He tells her "That's 100lbs of dynamite B...
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goldfinger
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1
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971
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Can you describe your wife ?
(Preview)
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height?Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I th...
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Yarra
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1
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1035
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The Very Patient Grandpa...
(Preview)
I was walking through the local supermarket the other day when I saw a grandfather walking around with his 2 year old grandson. It was obvious that the grandpa wasn't having an easy time of it, with the siren-like voice of his cherished youngling scaling upwards every time candy or toys came into view...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1164
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Snow in Jamaica
(Preview)
A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him,"What is your name?""I can't tell you" the black man says.Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always respo...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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938
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Father was obviously a mechanic......
(Preview)
Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something my new boyfriend said to me, that I didn't fully understand." He said that I' have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags, fantastic bumper,....and....do I prefer a manual gear change?'... Father's Response: "Go tell your new boyfriend...
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goldfinger
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1
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1116
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The Observant Kangaroo
(Preview)
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Moorey
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2
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955
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Husband Prepares Dinner
(Preview)
His wife left a note for him to prepare dinner that evening:Shepherds Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 140 degrees. Dave
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Moorey
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1
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1269
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He said tonight is all about you darling
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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3
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1302
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Troublesome five year old....
(Preview)
Bob was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily. "What's up Bob? asked the bartender.... It's not like you to be so down in the mouth." "It's my five year old son..." Bob replied. "Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting in school?....my lad's just the same- for...
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goldfinger
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0
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999
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Time for a 'Quickie'.....
(Preview)
During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. "Now let me see the 'bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady immediately starts removing her undies, however is interrupted by her Doctor... &qu...
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goldfinger
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0
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937
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While at the Bar.......
(Preview)
While at the Bar: Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen here good looking...I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, by the front door by the back door, in the back door, on the gro...
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goldfinger
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0
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954
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What is Celibacy?
(Preview)
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other". He then addressed the men, Can you name...
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Yarra
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0
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978
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The light turned yellow, just in front of him.....
(Preview)
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed h...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1305
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The age of didgits
(Preview)
Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!! A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, take...
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Wombat 280
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1
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1103
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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
(Preview)
....Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother th...
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aussie_paul
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0
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953
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Why you should never join a seniors group
(Preview)
<http://i.imgur.com/2SvpTAA.gifv>
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Yarra
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0
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1808
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The Drover and St Peter
(Preview)
Andrew the drover (Aussie Cowboy) from a huge cattle station in the Australian outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered. Once, on a trip to th...
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Yarra
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0
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954
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Double Murder
(Preview)
The judge says to a double murder defendant, " Your'e charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer". A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!" The judge says, "You are also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."...
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dishlicker
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0
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917
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council housing complaints
(Preview)
Complaints to Scottish Local Authority Councils Extracts from letters written by council tenants: 1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 3.. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly wh...
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Douglas Leigh
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0
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970
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Works every time
(Preview)
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.&qu...
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rockylizard
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0
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999
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