Just Joking

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 in the morning... and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, 'I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.' The officer then asks, 'Really? Who is g...

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

Start you bastard

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

I was watching Match of the Day last Saturday when the missus walks in and says 'fancy a sh4g?' 'I'm watching the football love' 'You do know that you can record it', she says. 'Cool, you grab the camcorder and I'll join you when the footy's finished'

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses c...

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressive...

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The Doctor asks: "What's the problem? The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me." The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is...

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman. "I want you to go!" she screamed. I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?" "Go on, I'm listening." she replied. I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburnt, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says snickering, if you were a gentlemen you'd lift your hat. He raised an eyebrow and replied, If you weren't so ugly, it would lift itself.

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answ...

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

Two blokes are chatting in their hospital beds. 'What are you in for?' says the first. 'Camera down the throat', the other replies. 'Oh, endoscopy?' the first man asks. 'Yes', he says. 'Checking for stomach cancer.' What about you? 'Camera up the back passage', he says. 'Oh, colonoscopy, checking...

Craig1 · Craig1

Goodbye Australian Cricket. After super captain announcement and the naming arrangements for Fridays Test, you have lost me. Denmark and Ireland will get my support now.

rmoor · rmoor

Hey people. Melanoma has been in the news heavily recently. I had three spots zapped last week. Can finally shave near the left jawbone now after one of them has settled down a bit. Just a reminder for all to consider making a booking, as at our (respective) ages, it is a critical medical visit I think. Th...

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

HOW TO HAVE SEX WHILE ON LOCKDOWN WITH THE KIDS IN THE HOUSE. The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities. He began his commentary as his parents put t...

anolphart · anolphart

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

Elderly couple in church. Wife turns to husband and says "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?" Husband says "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

Anthony Albaneses' Profile · Plain Truth

https://theshovel.com.au/2022/05/17/the-shovels-definitive-profile-of-anthony-albanese/

Mike Harding · Mike Harding

For Australia Day

Whenarewethere · Whenarewethere

& emptying dogs bags!

RickJ · RickJ

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Late night lecture (Preview) An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 in the morning... and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, 'I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.' The officer then asks, 'Really? Who is g...	Whenarewethere	0	542	12:04 PM Jan 30, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Start you bastard (Preview) Start you bastard	Whenarewethere	2	488	11:54 AM Jan 30, 2024 by Dick0
	Sex or football (Preview) I was watching Match of the Day last Saturday when the missus walks in and says 'fancy a sh4g?' 'I'm watching the football love' 'You do know that you can record it', she says. 'Cool, you grab the camcorder and I'll join you when the footy's finished'	Whenarewethere	0	457	11:32 AM Jan 30, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	In a vacuum (blond joke) (Preview) IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'	Whenarewethere	0	376	11:28 AM Jan 30, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Labiaplasty (Preview) A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses c...	Whenarewethere	0	408	10:08 AM Jan 30, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Another blond joke (Preview) FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressive...	Whenarewethere	0	370	09:47 AM Jan 30, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Husband's temper (Preview) A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The Doctor asks: "What's the problem? The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me." The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is...	Whenarewethere	0	395	09:43 AM Jan 30, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Caught out (Preview) My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman. "I want you to go!" she screamed. I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?" "Go on, I'm listening." she replied. I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."	Whenarewethere	1	438	09:28 AM Jan 30, 2024 by peter67
	Naked at the beach (Preview) A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburnt, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says snickering, if you were a gentlemen you'd lift your hat. He raised an eyebrow and replied, If you weren't so ugly, it would lift itself.	Whenarewethere	0	449	07:14 AM Jan 30, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Parrots again (Preview) A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answ...	Whenarewethere	0	456	10:12 PM Jan 29, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Colonoscopy (Preview) Two blokes are chatting in their hospital beds. 'What are you in for?' says the first. 'Camera down the throat', the other replies. 'Oh, endoscopy?' the first man asks. 'Yes', he says. 'Checking for stomach cancer.' What about you? 'Camera up the back passage', he says. 'Oh, colonoscopy, checking...	Whenarewethere	0	414	09:46 PM Jan 29, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Vale Australian Cricket ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Goodbye Australian Cricket. After super captain announcement and the naming arrangements for Fridays Test, you have lost me. Denmark and Ireland will get my support now.	Craig1	37	1846	02:59 PM Jan 29, 2024 by Craig1
	Melanoma (Preview) Hey people. Melanoma has been in the news heavily recently. I had three spots zapped last week. Can finally shave near the left jawbone now after one of them has settled down a bit. Just a reminder for all to consider making a booking, as at our (respective) ages, it is a critical medical visit I think. Th...	rmoor	5	444	02:21 PM Jan 29, 2024 by rmoor
	Sex during lockdown (Preview) HOW TO HAVE SEX WHILE ON LOCKDOWN WITH THE KIDS IN THE HOUSE. The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities. He began his commentary as his parents put t...	Whenarewethere	2	569	07:21 AM Jan 29, 2024 by Blues Man
	Topless chics in short skirts (Preview)	anolphart	0	298	12:11 AM Jan 29, 2024 by anolphart
	Elderly couple in church (Preview) Elderly couple in church. Wife turns to husband and says "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?" Husband says "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"	Whenarewethere	1	444	12:13 PM Jan 28, 2024 by peter67
	Anthony Albaneses' Profile (Preview) https://theshovel.com.au/2022/05/17/the-shovels-definitive-profile-of-anthony-albanese/	Plain Truth	0	443	09:22 PM Jan 27, 2024 by Plain Truth
	For Australia Day (Preview) For Australia Day	Mike Harding	4	1047	12:14 PM Jan 27, 2024 by peter67
	Finally leaving politics (Preview) & emptying dogs bags!	Whenarewethere	9	1032	04:08 PM Jan 25, 2024 by Aussie1
	Game of marbles anyone? (Preview)	RickJ	7	953	06:02 AM Jan 25, 2024 by valeriajohn
«First < 1 … 41 42 43 44 45 … 669 > Last» \| Page of 669 sorted by