Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder! So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A guy goes to his doctor and tells him hes having trouble doing the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: Now Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, youre just lazy. OK, said th...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky-maker but he loved her still. 4. A rubber-band pistol was confi...

goldfinger · goldfinger

A Priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a bloke who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.. Saint Peter addresses this cool dude, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?' The bloke replies, 'I'm Jim, r...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Hendo ,that was a good'n re Paddy Murphy...and of course reminded me of one of my favourite slightly off colour Irish story's...... Young Irish girl, Mary, being married to Paddy on Saturday, and goes to see her Parish priest with a few vexing questions... "Father, I've seen Paddy in the raw...bu...

Hendo · Hendo

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised, and he's walking with a limp. 'What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender. 'Michael O'Connor and me had a fight,' says Paddy. 'That little O'Co...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

XYZ Bank - This is Brilliant Cancel Credit cards prior to death! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today! A lady died this past January, and XYZ Bank billed her for February and March for the...

goldfinger · goldfinger

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship...er salespersonship. Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout Cookies and I made $30"...she said proudly. "my sales approach was to appeal to the custo...

Yarra · Yarra

Many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out. Are you okay, what's your name? It's John, and I'm okay thanks, I replied as I pulled myself out of the t...

goldfinger · goldfinger

The mother in law arrives home from shopping to find her son in law Paddy, in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously. "What happened?....what the hell happened?...I'll tell you what happened!...I sent an email to my wife Jean, telling her I was...

Baggie · Baggie

Now some of you might remember when the American war ship Thruxton berthed at Outer Harbor in Adelaide back many years ago. Well, there were many American sailors itching to get acquainted with our Aussie girls and they made every attempt to do so. Well in this case, three sailors had met up with three s...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Starts at Sixty Writers VIEW PROFILE394 SHARES Share on facebook A newlywed couple moves into their new house.One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?The husband says, What do I look...

Gaylehere · Gaylehere

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table, by candle-light, he put on some background music and feasted on a pound...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A physician, an engineer, and a politician were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession." ...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Battle of the Sexes A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman Which book has helped you most in your life? The woman replied My husbands cheque book!! A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? Sales Girl: Sir, Fiction and Com...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyers office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him very quick.The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would d...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Dang that didn't work I'll try again -- Edited by Woody n Sue on Saturday 9th of April 2016 07:16:02 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Old Lady Is Pulled Over For Going Too Slowly... (Preview) Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder! So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five...	aussie_paul	0	981	02:10 PM Apr 18, 2016 by aussie_paul
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) A guy goes to his doctor and tells him hes having trouble doing the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: Now Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, youre just lazy. OK, said th...	aussie_paul	1	831	01:06 PM Apr 18, 2016 by dorian
	New underwear (Preview)	Woody n Sue	3	978	10:44 AM Apr 18, 2016 by goldfinger
	Puns For Educated Minds (Preview) 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky-maker but he loved her still. 4. A rubber-band pistol was confi...	aussie_paul	1	1069	10:17 PM Apr 17, 2016 by Neil n Chris
	Waiting at the Pearly Gates.... (Preview) A Priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a bloke who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.. Saint Peter addresses this cool dude, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?' The bloke replies, 'I'm Jim, r...	goldfinger	2	1184	11:04 AM Apr 17, 2016 by KFT
	Young Irish Mary being married on Saturday...a tad naughty.... (Preview) Hendo ,that was a good'n re Paddy Murphy...and of course reminded me of one of my favourite slightly off colour Irish story's...... Young Irish girl, Mary, being married to Paddy on Saturday, and goes to see her Parish priest with a few vexing questions... "Father, I've seen Paddy in the raw...bu...	goldfinger	1	954	03:59 PM Apr 16, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Paddy Murphy (Preview) Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised, and he's walking with a limp. 'What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender. 'Michael O'Connor and me had a fight,' says Paddy. 'That little O'Co...	Hendo	0	859	10:05 AM Apr 16, 2016 by Hendo
	XYZ Bank: (Preview) XYZ Bank - This is Brilliant Cancel Credit cards prior to death! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today! A lady died this past January, and XYZ Bank billed her for February and March for the...	aussie_paul	1	1496	10:26 AM Apr 15, 2016 by johnwf
	Doesn't that little Johnny ever get out of Grade 3...?..innovative (Preview) The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship...er salespersonship. Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout Cookies and I made $30"...she said proudly. "my sales approach was to appeal to the custo...	goldfinger	0	834	03:23 PM Apr 14, 2016 by goldfinger
	Caring (Preview) Many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out. Are you okay, what's your name? It's John, and I'm okay thanks, I replied as I pulled myself out of the t...	Yarra	0	788	09:02 AM Apr 14, 2016 by Yarra
	Irish Divorce.. (Preview) The mother in law arrives home from shopping to find her son in law Paddy, in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously. "What happened?....what the hell happened?...I'll tell you what happened!...I sent an email to my wife Jean, telling her I was...	goldfinger	0	925	11:44 PM Apr 13, 2016 by goldfinger
	The good ship Thruxton (Preview) Now some of you might remember when the American war ship Thruxton berthed at Outer Harbor in Adelaide back many years ago. Well, there were many American sailors itching to get acquainted with our Aussie girls and they made every attempt to do so. Well in this case, three sailors had met up with three s...	Baggie	0	905	07:33 PM Apr 13, 2016 by Baggie
	A newlywed couple moves into their new house. (Preview) Starts at Sixty Writers VIEW PROFILE394 SHARES Share on facebook A newlywed couple moves into their new house.One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?The husband says, What do I look...	aussie_paul	0	833	01:38 PM Apr 13, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Have a Laugh - Divorce Settlement (Preview) On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table, by candle-light, he put on some background music and feasted on a pound...	Gaylehere	0	1018	12:24 PM Apr 13, 2016 by Gaylehere
	The First Profession. (Preview) A physician, an engineer, and a politician were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession." ...	aussie_paul	1	1123	09:11 AM Apr 13, 2016 by Bryan
	JOKES - ENJOY! (Preview) The Battle of the Sexes A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman Which book has helped you most in your life? The woman replied My husbands cheque book!! A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? Sales Girl: Sir, Fiction and Com...	aussie_paul	0	824	10:11 AM Apr 12, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Very very quick Divorce needed... (Preview) A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyers office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him very quick.The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would d...	aussie_paul	1	925	06:53 PM Apr 11, 2016 by Woody2
	A bit of fun (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	842	08:10 AM Apr 11, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Good looking daughter (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	1038	07:15 PM Apr 10, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	Blondes a town full of them (Preview) Dang that didn't work I'll try again -- Edited by Woody n Sue on Saturday 9th of April 2016 07:16:02 PM	Woody n Sue	1	907	07:03 PM Apr 9, 2016 by Baggie
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