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Body clock
(Preview)
We were in a group discussing late parenting, when one burka clad woman said "yes my body clock is ticking" That's when we all hit the deck......Rick
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rickeng
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1
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914
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Hard to believe..
(Preview)
Hard to believe but . . .. A recent survey indicates that the Smartphone is now the number one hand held device. The penis has slipped to second spot. Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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8
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1194
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Competitive Flying
(Preview)
A military freighter aircraft was droning through the sky one day when a fighter pilot pulled up to cruise alongside in his agile machine. He called the freighter captain over the radio and commented "You must get bored of driving that thing around the sky unable to do much". "No", replied the captain...
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C00P
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2
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1056
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Geoffrey
(Preview)
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Spook
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3
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Vet Visit
(Preview)
Mrs. McAllister had a pet DUCK, Henry, that she was very very fond of. One morning when she went to take Henry his breakfast she found him laying in his pen not moving. In a near panic she carried him to her car then rushed to the local veterinary hospital. She carefully carried Henry inside and although h...
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Yarra
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789
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See you in Northorn Territory
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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5
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1016
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Arthritis
(Preview)
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
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Yarra
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896
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Dear Tide
(Preview)
Dear Tide I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband sta...
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Moorey
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1
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1086
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Another cordless drill
(Preview)
Now as stupid as this may seem, it actually happened. On a building site, a worker was using a Makita cordless drill with a 10 mm drill bit in place to drill some holes. He hesitated for a second to itch his nostril, and instead of using his finger, he stuck the drill bit up there. And without thinking, (I d...
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Baggie
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8
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1378
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An old man has been standing in line at the pearly gates...
(Preview)
An old man has been standing in line at the pearly gates...for so long, when he gets to the front, he can't remember his name for St. Peter to look up in the Big Book.Peter doesn't know what to do, so he gets Jesus to help him figure it out.Jesus says "Tell us about your life, maybe that will jog your memory."...
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Yarra
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0
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930
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7 years Stranded Irishman
(Preview)
One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon."It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.Suddenly, emerging...
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Yarra
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1
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1036
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Pope Francis
(Preview)
Default Pope FrancisPope Francis recently finished his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tuti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.. A Woman's Rights Group approached the Pope the next day.They noticed that the Pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind. So the next day, after his sermon, th...
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Yarra
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3
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928
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Old Butch
(Preview)
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.Each bell had a differen...
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Yarra
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1
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1118
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The Farmer. Oldie But A Goodie
(Preview)
A farmer decided* he wanted to go to town and see a movie.The ticket agent asked, "sir, what's that on your shoulder?The old farmer said, "that's my pet rooster chuck.Wherever i go, chuck goes." "i'm sorry sir," said the ticket agent "we can't allow animals in the theater."the old farmer went around...
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Yarra
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0
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974
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My girlfriend left a note on the fridge door
(Preview)
It said, "this is not working. I'm going to my mothers." I opened the door. The light came on. The beer was cold. Just what in the hell did she mean?
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Yarra
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0
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1092
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A Day At The Horse Races....
(Preview)
Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting...
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kiwijims
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2
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1014
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There is a new roll on deodorant out
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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945
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Train Departure
(Preview)
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bit..es who want to get off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all you sons of bit..es who are returning and want to...
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Yarra
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0
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939
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The Centipede
(Preview)
This bloke walks into a petshop and asks the attendant for a pet that requires absolutely no looking after. After a few moments the attendant tells him that they have a talking Centipede that does'nt need any attention. The bloke looks at him and says, "You're joking surely?" "Nope, its a fair dinkum t...
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Magnarc
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0
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919
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Cordless Drill
(Preview)
OK it did not wark -- Edited by PeterD on Sunday 23rd of October 2016 05:31:48 PM
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PeterD
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