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Teacher..
(Preview)
Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?Johnny: Seven.Teacher: No, listen carefully If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?Johnny: Seven.Teacher: Let me put it to you differentlyIf I gave you two apples, and an...
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aussie_paul
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0
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530
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Home Sick....
(Preview)
I saw a car parked outside Woollies with a bumper sticker that said "I miss Alice Springs". So I smashed the windows, stole the radio, let the tyres down & left several empty VB cans on the back seat with a note saying "hope this helps"
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Aussie1
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9
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1220
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Christmas Eve at the North Pole
(Preview)
Time to trot this chestnut out again.... Christmas Eve at the North Pole. Santa's alarm clock didn't go off, and he woke up 3 hours late for his epic run. In his rush to herd up the reindeer, they got spooked and took off into the forest. Santa had to go out on foot to round them up. 4 hours late... He loade...
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erad
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0
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824
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Is it?
(Preview)
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rgren2
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1
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873
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Climate change kids
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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684
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A joke...
(Preview)
It snowed last night.8:00 am - I made a snowman8:10 am - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 am - So, I made a snow woman.8:17 am - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 am - The gay couple...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1205
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Pop says..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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863
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Ultimate Birthday Present for the Wife:
(Preview)
A few days before his wife's birthday:Husband: Dear. "What would you like for your present?"Wife: "I really don't think I should say."Husband: "How about a diamond ring?"Wife: "I don't care much for diamonds."Husband: "Well then, how about a mink coat?"Wife: "You know I do not like furs."Husband...
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aussie_paul
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1
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931
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A Morning Prayer..
(Preview)
So far today God, I have done alright.I havent gossiped. I havent lost my temper, and havent been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over indulgent. And I havent told anyone to mind their own business and stay out of mine. I am really glad about that.But in a few minutes, God, Im going to get out of bed; and...
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aussie_paul
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1
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972
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Christmas Driving
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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720
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The Pom in WA.
(Preview)
DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA Long August 31 Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was bea...
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rgren2
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1
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1182
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MICROCHIP IMPLANT..
(Preview)
ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GODCOPPER COATED MICROCHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD.The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead.When properly installed, it will instantly allow the terrorist to speak to God.It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 t...
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aussie_paul
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3
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1159
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Turn up the heat
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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759
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Christmas eve
(Preview)
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Nevd
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1
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728
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xmas
(Preview)
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Bicyclecamper
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8
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1093
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Dating & marriage
(Preview)
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rgren2
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1
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1059
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Christmas tree.
(Preview)
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rgren2
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0
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948
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TOO LATE!!!!
(Preview)
As the coffin of a Parking Officer was being lowered into the grave, a voice from inside the coffin screams,I'm not dead! I'm not dead! Let me out. Let me out.The Vicar smiles, leans forward and, sucking air through his teeth, mutters,Too late, mate. I've already done the paperwork.
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aussie_paul
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2
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1111
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The alphabet wife..
(Preview)
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're an alphabet wife..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks ... "What the heck does that mean?" He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, an...
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aussie_paul
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0
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832
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What's in the bag?
(Preview)
Recently, I was driving back to the Gold Coast from Port Douglas in Northern Queensland when I saw an elderly Aboriginal man walking on the side of the road.As the trip was a long and quiet one, I stopped the car and asked the Aboriginal man if he would like a ride.With a silent nod of thanks, the old man got...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1017
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