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FAMILY TREE OF VINCENT VAN GOGH
(Preview)
FAMILY TREE OF VINCENT VAN GOGH (always pronounced as Van GO) Who thinks up these things!!!!!!!!!!!! His dizzy aunt ----------------------------------------------- Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes------------------------------- Gotta Gogh The brother who...
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Yarra
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0
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1024
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The Pearly Gates
(Preview)
A Muslim dies, and by some error in his handling, ends up in heaven.He's stopped at the Pearly Gates by St Peter who says:"Sorry, but we don't allow Muslims into Heaven"."What?!!!!" replies the Muslim, "and why not?""Well, we just don't!! and that's it, also, we're short on Virgins".The Muslim comp...
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aussie_paul
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0
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879
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A MAN SEES THINGS DIFFERENTLY THAN A WOMAN DOES
(Preview)
A wife was curious when she found an old negative in a drawer and had it made into a print. She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of her at a much younger, slimmer time, taken many years ago on one of her first dates with her husband. When she showed him the photo, his face lit up. "Wo...
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aussie_paul
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0
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853
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The Drover.
(Preview)
A drover, who just moved to Queensland from Victoria,walks into a bar and orders three glasses of XXXX beer.He sits in the back of the room,drinking a sip out of each one in turn.When he finishes them,he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the drover,"You k...
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rgren2
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0
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941
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Telephone survey
(Preview)
Telephone survey - Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:- "Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world.The survey was a comp...
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Woody2
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1
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1106
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More Irish.. lol
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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897
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You were born a prodistent but now you are a catholic
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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870
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Here’s what happened:
(Preview)
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something wrong with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.Hes just lying there looking sick, he told me. Im serious, Dad . Can you help?I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1044
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Let's milk this one
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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2
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1144
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Dear Dr Phil
(Preview)
Dear Dr. Phil . . . When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favourite pastime fishing. I bought my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day down at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner, who...
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Woody2
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4
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1111
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A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
(Preview)
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a ...
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aussie_paul
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0
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947
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Poor Irish....another one
(Preview)
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds. When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs...
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Woody2
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1
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883
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Medicare Advice
(Preview)
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well... We are now uncertain...
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Moorey
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1
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840
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Bar joke: Dyslexia
(Preview)
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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gumpybsc
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4
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923
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Side Effects to Viagra....
(Preview)
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time.. "Would you like some crispy bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee"?.. He declines..."Thanks for asking love, but I'm not real hungry right now...its this Viagra..it's really taken the edge off my appetite."... At l...
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goldfinger
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0
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1175
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Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)
(Preview)
Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,takes videos, pictures and communicates with Fac...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1183
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SpecSavers
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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3
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1123
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Airline Announcements
(Preview)
Airline Announcements: United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!' ************ ********* ********* ******* On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to lea...
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Woody2
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1
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1415
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Some things you just can't explain
(Preview)
The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain." "So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked. The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.""That's no...
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Yarra
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5
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1116
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Political...BUT funny if you vote LNP... Sorry Cindy..
(Preview)
This message is forwarded as a community service! No political bias intended. Einstein developed this remarkable theory: Energy = Mass x Speed of Light squared....... A brilliant genius as we all know. A lesser known application of Einstein's formula determine...
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aussie_paul
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5
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1191
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