Just Joking

Possum3 · Possum3

What did Santa say, When he saw Rudolph's report card from school? "You've gone down in History"

Possum3 · Possum3

What did the Doctor say, when the Gingerbread man had a sore knee? "Did you try icing it?". I promise I won't post any more - today at least.

Possum3 · Possum3

Women are unhappier than men until they reach their mid-80s, a new survey has found. While men were found to be happier in their younger years, women only overtake them after the age of 85 The NHS Health Survey for England concentrated on 8,000 people, and found a dramatic difference between the gende...

Relax-n · Relax-n

Went to the bookstore and asked the salesperson where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Theatre Seats for Seniors An old man lay awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in themovie theatre.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The old man didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Possum3 · Possum3

1. Buy four little piglets. 2. Paint 1,2,3,5 on their backs. 3. Release the piglets in a Bunnings store. 5. Laugh at the people all looking for number 4.

Possum3 · Possum3

Child-Bride: I've got splinters in my hand from that old broom. Me: Well you're silly - why didn't you take the car? Doc reckons I'll be able to see out of my right eye soon.

Possum3 · Possum3

A priest settled in to his hotel room after a long day on the road. Before heading downstairs for a quick bite to eat, he opened the bible that belonged in the hotel room and had a quick read to soothe his mind. Downstairs in the bar, he struck up a conversation with the barmaid. They spoke for hours before h...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... Cheers - John

Possum3 · Possum3

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little...

Yendorane · Yendorane

"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger. "It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!" Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fear...

Possum3 · Possum3

Cop; "You were driving too fast". Me; "I was just trying to keep up with traffic". Cop;"There are no other cars on the road" Me; "I know! That's how far behind I am"

Possum3 · Possum3

One day, Johnny sees his father getting out of the shower. Whats that hanging between your legs? he asks. Thats my nerve, says his father. Yours will be this big one of these days. The next day in school, Johnny asks to use the toilet. In a minute, the teacher tells him. Nancy has just gone to the bathroom s...

Possum3 · Possum3

Santa is up before the Judge, Charged with three counts of sex discrimination. Apparently a young lady walked past him in the Mall, And he called out. .................... ........................ ............................ HO, HO, HO

Possum3 · Possum3

Pat and Seamus were pouring concrete outside the local brothel when they saw a vicar approaching. The vicar looked around cautiously before entering the building. Look at that! said Seamus. That Protestant minister is an absolute hypocrite! A few hours later, they noticed a rabbi approaching the...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... cheers - John

Paintar · Paintar

The man said to the dentist, Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry.I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb.I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it!We have a 10:00 am tee time at the best golf course i...

rgren2 · rgren2

A woman discovers her husband is cheating on her.Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She hears that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decides to go there to consult him.After few days of travelling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wi...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A couple were 85-years-old and had been married for 60 years.Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise over the past decade.One day...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Dad Joke (Preview) What did Santa say, When he saw Rudolph's report card from school? "You've gone down in History"	Possum3	1	1226	09:06 PM Dec 15, 2017 by grahos
	Dad Joke #2 (Preview) What did the Doctor say, when the Gingerbread man had a sore knee? "Did you try icing it?". I promise I won't post any more - today at least.	Possum3	0	1001	10:12 AM Dec 15, 2017 by Possum3
	Unhappy Women (Preview) Women are unhappier than men until they reach their mid-80s, a new survey has found. While men were found to be happier in their younger years, women only overtake them after the age of 85 The NHS Health Survey for England concentrated on 8,000 people, and found a dramatic difference between the gende...	Possum3	0	1097	09:51 AM Dec 15, 2017 by Possum3
	Self Help? (Preview) Went to the bookstore and asked the salesperson where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.	Relax-n	0	930	10:32 PM Dec 14, 2017 by Relax-n
	Theatre Seats for Seniors (Preview) Theatre Seats for Seniors An old man lay awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in themovie theatre.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The old man didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't...	aussie_paul	1	1062	12:57 PM Dec 14, 2017 by Blues Man
	Cold.... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	1593	09:39 PM Dec 13, 2017 by Craig1
	Hide and seek. (Preview) 1. Buy four little piglets. 2. Paint 1,2,3,5 on their backs. 3. Release the piglets in a Bunnings store. 5. Laugh at the people all looking for number 4.	Possum3	2	1394	09:50 PM Dec 12, 2017 by RustyD
	Deserved it. (Preview) Child-Bride: I've got splinters in my hand from that old broom. Me: Well you're silly - why didn't you take the car? Doc reckons I'll be able to see out of my right eye soon.	Possum3	0	872	03:44 PM Dec 12, 2017 by Possum3
	A Sunday tale. (Preview) A priest settled in to his hotel room after a long day on the road. Before heading downstairs for a quick bite to eat, he opened the bible that belonged in the hotel room and had a quick read to soothe his mind. Downstairs in the bar, he struck up a conversation with the barmaid. They spoke for hours before h...	Possum3	1	1556	07:02 AM Dec 11, 2017 by Blues Man
	Go on .... smile ... it ain't THAT bad :) (Preview) Gday... Cheers - John	rockylizard	5	1363	05:13 PM Dec 10, 2017 by grahos
	I Promise. (Preview) It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little...	Possum3	2	999	07:11 AM Dec 10, 2017 by Blues Man
	Late again! (Preview) "Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger. "It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!" Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fear...	Yendorane	1	1085	09:06 PM Dec 9, 2017 by Craig1
	Speeding (Preview) Cop; "You were driving too fast". Me; "I was just trying to keep up with traffic". Cop;"There are no other cars on the road" Me; "I know! That's how far behind I am"	Possum3	0	1011	01:53 PM Dec 9, 2017 by Possum3
	Johnny (Preview) One day, Johnny sees his father getting out of the shower. Whats that hanging between your legs? he asks. Thats my nerve, says his father. Yours will be this big one of these days. The next day in school, Johnny asks to use the toilet. In a minute, the teacher tells him. Nancy has just gone to the bathroom s...	Possum3	0	1252	07:08 PM Dec 7, 2017 by Possum3
	Santa Gaoled. (Preview) Santa is up before the Judge, Charged with three counts of sex discrimination. Apparently a young lady walked past him in the Mall, And he called out. .................... ........................ ............................ HO, HO, HO	Possum3	0	887	03:11 PM Dec 7, 2017 by Possum3
	Perspective. (Preview) Pat and Seamus were pouring concrete outside the local brothel when they saw a vicar approaching. The vicar looked around cautiously before entering the building. Look at that! said Seamus. That Protestant minister is an absolute hypocrite! A few hours later, they noticed a rabbi approaching the...	Possum3	1	1100	09:13 AM Dec 7, 2017 by Blues Man
	NAH .... wouldn't happen...... (Preview) Gday... cheers - John	rockylizard	1	1208	12:33 AM Dec 7, 2017 by jules47
	Golfer with real balls (Preview) The man said to the dentist, Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry.I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb.I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it!We have a 10:00 am tee time at the best golf course i...	Paintar	1	1063	11:22 PM Dec 5, 2017 by Blues Man
	Wise Monk (Preview) A woman discovers her husband is cheating on her.Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She hears that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decides to go there to consult him.After few days of travelling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wi...	rgren2	2	1167	07:44 PM Dec 4, 2017 by Blues Man
	A couple were 85-years-old and had been married for 60 years... (Preview) A couple were 85-years-old and had been married for 60 years.Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise over the past decade.One day...	aussie_paul	0	1036	07:42 PM Dec 4, 2017 by aussie_paul
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