Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.Louise, he moaned, tell me what happ...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him, and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.They are both startled and he says, Maam, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know youll forgive me.She replie...

Paintar · Paintar

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unl...

fwdoz · fwdoz

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth" he says. "And what is your question, Kenneth, she asks. "I have three questions" he says. "...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:Ill be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I dont expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I wont be home for dinner. Ill go hunt...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said,Hey, lady! Youre really ugly! The lady was furious and continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said:Hey, lady! Youre really ugly! She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

***JOKE TIME ***Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.. The owner puts the budgies in a cardbo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Think you are having a bad day? Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A postmortem test rev...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Organist There was a small church in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female. The very p...

Possum3 · Possum3

A drunken man is stumbling along a main street in town, A old local biddy that was always poking her nose where it wasn't wanted, Went over to the drunk soundly chastising him, and said; If you were my husband, I would poison all your liquor. The drunk stammered out; Lady if you were my wife - I'd drink it!

Possum3 · Possum3

A man stopped at his favourite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned...

Possum3 · Possum3

Do you check, under the bed for prowlers, before you get into bed of an evening? If you do, what are you going to do if there is one under there?

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Possum3 · Possum3

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't y...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie Paul.

Paintar · Paintar

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

The other day I went over to a nearby Pharmacy.When I got there, I went straight to the back of the Store to where the Pharmacists Counter is located.I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Post Christmas party... (Preview) John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.Louise, he moaned, tell me what happ...	aussie_paul	1	788	01:52 AM Feb 26, 2018 by Blues Man
	A man is in a hotel lobby... (Preview) A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him, and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.They are both startled and he says, Maam, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know youll forgive me.She replie...	aussie_paul	1	815	01:47 AM Feb 26, 2018 by Blues Man
	35 Years of Marriage (Preview) After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unl...	Paintar	1	802	01:46 AM Feb 26, 2018 by Blues Man
	What happened? (Preview) Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth" he says. "And what is your question, Kenneth, she asks. "I have three questions" he says. "...	fwdoz	0	768	08:26 PM Feb 25, 2018 by fwdoz
	Typical macho man... (Preview) Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:Ill be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I dont expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I wont be home for dinner. Ill go hunt...	aussie_paul	0	742	05:34 PM Feb 25, 2018 by aussie_paul
	The parrot said... (Preview) A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said,Hey, lady! Youre really ugly! The lady was furious and continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said:Hey, lady! Youre really ugly! She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and...	aussie_paul	0	738	05:10 PM Feb 25, 2018 by aussie_paul
	Joke time... (Preview) *JOKE TIME *Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.. The owner puts the budgies in a cardbo...	aussie_paul	1	757	12:26 PM Feb 25, 2018 by Blues Man
	Circus... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	2	960	10:28 AM Feb 25, 2018 by Possum3
	Think you are having a bad day? (Preview) Think you are having a bad day? Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A postmortem test rev...	aussie_paul	2	834	09:30 PM Feb 24, 2018 by oldbloke
	The organist.. (Preview) *The Organist* There was a small church in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female. The very p...	aussie_paul	1	679	08:16 PM Feb 24, 2018 by Blues Man
	Old suffragette. (Preview) A drunken man is stumbling along a main street in town, A old local biddy that was always poking her nose where it wasn't wanted, Went over to the drunk soundly chastising him, and said; If you were my husband, I would poison all your liquor. The drunk stammered out; Lady if you were my wife - I'd drink it!	Possum3	1	798	05:30 PM Feb 24, 2018 by El Gringo
	Enough. (Preview) A man stopped at his favourite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned...	Possum3	1	816	03:56 PM Feb 23, 2018 by Blues Man
	Do you check, under the bed for prowlers? (Preview) Do you check, under the bed for prowlers, before you get into bed of an evening? If you do, what are you going to do if there is one under there?	Possum3	1	892	03:36 PM Feb 23, 2018 by Blues Man
	I think he miss understood (Preview)	Woody n Sue	5	1181	01:11 PM Feb 23, 2018 by Craig1
	Fan belt... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	978	11:38 AM Feb 23, 2018 by Aus-Kiwi
	New York Cabbie (Preview) A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid on the back seat. The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said, "What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't y...	Possum3	1	758	09:14 AM Feb 23, 2018 by Blues Man
	Grandpa!!!! (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	1	929	09:12 AM Feb 23, 2018 by Blues Man
	Friends... (Preview) Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	749	10:40 PM Feb 22, 2018 by aussie_paul
	9MM (Preview)	Paintar	0	856	11:09 AM Feb 22, 2018 by Paintar
	hmmm glad I’m not a pharmacist (Preview) The other day I went over to a nearby Pharmacy.When I got there, I went straight to the back of the Store to where the Pharmacists Counter is located.I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me...	Woody n Sue	1	984	06:41 PM Feb 21, 2018 by Blues Man
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