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Senior's cars..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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849
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|
|
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Smoking in the rain
(Preview)
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you g...
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Moorey
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0
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726
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|
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|
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Stevie Wonder
(Preview)
Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice he asks if anyone has a request. One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a jazz chord! play a jazz chord!" Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz infl...
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rgren2
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0
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738
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One of my favourites
(Preview)
Two old diggers had been out in the bush for ages, their ute had broken down and they were just about on their last legs trying to walk out of the bush and find help. Finally, in the distance, they saw the few buildings and sheds of a small bush town. As they entered town a signpost informed them the town's na...
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Mike Harding
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0
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988
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
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667
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Husband takes his wife to her high school reunion
(Preview)
After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored. The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flipping, buying drinks for people, t...
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Yarra
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0
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857
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The cat has died
(Preview)
Sam, Billy, and Bobby, were three friends, who grew up together They had never married, and purchased a large house togetherSam went away overseas on a holiday package tourHe loved his cat, so he arranged for his two best friends to look after it He also gave them his holiday itinerary, in case they nee...
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Tony Bev
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0
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1009
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|
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Fish Hook.
(Preview)
A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I...
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Possum3
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0
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1087
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|
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Homeless man
(Preview)
This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man.I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said,"Up until last week, I had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes werewashed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and Iwent to the gym, the pool,...
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Yarra
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0
|
756
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|
|
|
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ha ha.
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
|
707
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|
|
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Fruit
(Preview)
My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of the stuff. It'a enough to make a mango crazy.
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Peterpan
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0
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759
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Little Johnny Again
(Preview)
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his Mother. 'Mummy,...
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Yarra
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0
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725
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|
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lol....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
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619
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Today I am..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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693
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Son's First Pint.....
(Preview)
I was reading an article about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son for his first pint.We went to the local and I ordered a VB which he did not like so I drank it.I then ordered a Hahn Dry which he did not like either so I drank that as well.I thought he might like a Canadian...
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kiwijims
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0
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718
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Holy Cow
(Preview)
Economic models explained through the medium of... cows. SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM Y...
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Yarra
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0
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871
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The coming of the Lord?
(Preview)
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said.. Jesus knows youre here. He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as...
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Possum3
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0
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774
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|
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Little Johnny's turn to say grace
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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760
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|
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Two Crocodiles!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
Two Crocodiles, one smaller then the other were resting at the side of the swamp near the lake in Canberra.The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, I can`t understand how you can be so bigger then me. We are the same age, we were the same size when we were kids. I just don`t get it " Well," said the b...
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aussie_paul
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0
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751
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|
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Happiness
(Preview)
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY: 1. Feed him 2. Sleep with him 3. Leave him with peace 4. Don't check his phone (Msgs)... 5. Don't bother him with his movements So what's so hard about that? HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY: It's really not too difficult but... To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a comp...
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Possum3
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1
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965
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