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The Jury
(Preview)
During a trial, the clerk addressed the prisoner in the dock Do you wish to challenge the jury? The prisoner looked at the people assembled. Well, not all of them at once, he said, but I reckon I could go a few rounds with the little chubby guy in the middle for starters.
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Possum3
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2
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1402
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How heavy?
(Preview)
A woman noticed her husband trying to weigh himself on the bathroom scale. Each time he stepped on, he started sucking in his stomach. Thats not going to help, darling, said the wife. Trust me. Its already working, the husband said smugly. Now I can see the numbers.
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Possum3
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1
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1039
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When you feel a bit stupid read this
(Preview)
If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)Question: If you could li...
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Tony Bev
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2
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1350
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In Church.
(Preview)
Louise walked in to church one day in a see-through blouse and the priest stopped her from going any further. You cant come into church like that, he said. Yes, I can, said Louise. I have a divine right. You have a divine left as well, my dear, said the priest. But you still cant come in without a hat.
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Possum3
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1
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1219
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1st Prize
(Preview)
Snow white, Superman and Pinochio are walking down the street. They come across a sign that says : Beauty Contest.. Snow white says she is going to enter. After a while she comes out with the 1st prize!... They walk further and come across a sign that reads : Strongest man contest. Superman ente...
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Paintar
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7
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1443
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Golf
(Preview)
A husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and sh...
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Possum3
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1
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862
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Golf
(Preview)
A husband and a wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off on the third hole which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball smashed through the window and sh...
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Possum3
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1
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883
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|
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What could possibly go wrong!!!
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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10
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1258
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Dad Joke
(Preview)
What did Santa say, When he saw Rudolph's report card from school? "You've gone down in History"
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Possum3
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1
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1130
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Dad Joke #2
(Preview)
What did the Doctor say, when the Gingerbread man had a sore knee? "Did you try icing it?". I promise I won't post any more - today at least.
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Possum3
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0
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909
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Unhappy Women
(Preview)
Women are unhappier than men until they reach their mid-80s, a new survey has found. While men were found to be happier in their younger years, women only overtake them after the age of 85 The NHS Health Survey for England concentrated on 8,000 people, and found a dramatic difference between the gende...
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Possum3
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0
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1006
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Self Help?
(Preview)
Went to the bookstore and asked the salesperson where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
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Relax-n
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0
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820
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Theatre Seats for Seniors
(Preview)
Theatre Seats for Seniors An old man lay awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in themovie theatre.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The old man didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't...
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aussie_paul
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1
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978
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|
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Cold....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1500
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Hide and seek.
(Preview)
1. Buy four little piglets. 2. Paint 1,2,3,5 on their backs. 3. Release the piglets in a Bunnings store. 5. Laugh at the people all looking for number 4.
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Possum3
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2
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1307
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Deserved it.
(Preview)
Child-Bride: I've got splinters in my hand from that old broom. Me: Well you're silly - why didn't you take the car? Doc reckons I'll be able to see out of my right eye soon.
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Possum3
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0
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790
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A Sunday tale.
(Preview)
A priest settled in to his hotel room after a long day on the road. Before heading downstairs for a quick bite to eat, he opened the bible that belonged in the hotel room and had a quick read to soothe his mind. Downstairs in the bar, he struck up a conversation with the barmaid. They spoke for hours before h...
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Possum3
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1
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1445
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|
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Go on .... smile ... it ain't THAT bad :)
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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5
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1259
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I Promise.
(Preview)
It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little...
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Possum3
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2
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902
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Late again!
(Preview)
"Late again!" the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger. "It ain't my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this 'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!" Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fear...
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Yendorane
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1
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992
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