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Seagulls.
(Preview)
An old man at the end of a jetty was selling seagulls $2.50 for one, or three for five bucks. A curious tourist approached him and said, Ill take one, please, before handing over his money. The old man pocketed the money, pointed up to the sky and said: See that one there? Thats your one.
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Possum3
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1
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768
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Adam & Eve
(Preview)
Adam and Eve said "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us".And God said "I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you,...
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fwdoz
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1
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822
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|
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Jesus & the pub meal
(Preview)
Englishman, African and an Aussie sitting in a restaurant, waiting for their food. They're looking around the place and spot a man sitting by himself drinking water in the corner. After a few minutes they recognise him as Jesus Christ himself. They agree that he's a great bloke and all chip in to buy Je...
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fwdoz
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1
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727
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Nude Beach
(Preview)
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had b**bs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son "The bigger they are the dumber the person is".The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocea...
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fwdoz
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1
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1243
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Two young boys
(Preview)
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' 'Eight', the boy replied. The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?' The boy replied, 'Not exactly,...
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aussie_paul
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2
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824
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|
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Apologies to my Yank mates.
(Preview)
A Texan visitor to England asked an Englishman to show him the biggest building in town.There it is, said the Englishman. Its quite impressive, I must admit.You call that big? scoffed the Texan. Back in Texas we have buildings just like that but over a hundred times bigger!Im not surprised, said the E...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1158
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What is it called?
(Preview)
Little Johnny asked his grandfather a question that had been bothering him for a while. Grandpa, he said. Whats it called when there is someone on top of someone else in bed? The grandad felt very uncomfortable but decided to take the mature route and tell his grandson the truth, Well, thats called in...
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Possum3
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2
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830
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|
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BJ
(Preview)
Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him.You know that dishwasher you promised me?I bought it with the insurance mo...
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rgren2
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2
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881
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|
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A parking area for Dads with BBQ .
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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1
|
703
|
|
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Wrong again
(Preview)
A woman returned from a fishing trip with her husband, who refused to speak to her the whole ride back. When they got home, she shared her troubles with a neighbour. I did everything wrong again, she said. I talked too loudly, I used the wrong bait, I reeled in to soon and I caught more than he did.
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Possum3
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1
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852
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|
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Compliment.
(Preview)
A thirsty man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Suddenly he hears someone say: Hey! Nice tie! The man looks around to see who complimented him, but he couldnt see anyone. Hey! Nice shirt! Again, the man looks around but still cant see anyone. Hey! Nice suit! The man then called the bartender over to ask i...
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Possum3
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0
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706
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|
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Warning the f word is mentioned. Message from Australians to Australian Parliament
(Preview)
https://youtu.be/m0ufUSVSyUc
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Lesley F
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3
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672
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DNA Test.
(Preview)
A mother thinks there is something strange about her son so she has a DNA test done in secret. After a long, nervous few days of waiting, the results finally come back. She is shocked to find out that her son is not actually related to her or her husband at all. With a heavy heart, she approaches her husban...
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Possum3
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1
|
719
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
1
|
670
|
|
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Rye Bread..
(Preview)
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he eats to have so much energy.The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye brea...
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aussie_paul
|
2
|
837
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|
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Ageing - Brilliant!!!!!
(Preview)
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERSYOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?WELL......YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THEWAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH ANEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA,WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.SUDDENL...
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aussie_paul
|
2
|
939
|
|
|
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
589
|
|
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Deaf Couple.
(Preview)
A deaf couple check into a hotel very late at night and, after moving into their assigned room, they fall straight into bed. In the middle of the night, the woman has a headache so she goes to the bathroom for aspirin. But after struggling to find any she remembers she left them in the car and, afraid to go o...
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Possum3
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0
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654
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|
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Relief
(Preview)
A man walk in to the the chemist with raised hand :The chemist ask:hand cream?No , five Viagra tablets.Five woman I have a date today.Next day a man turn up again hand in the air.The chemist say: I know ,five Viagra.No. The man says,Hand cream. None of the women turned up.
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rgren2
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0
|
748
|
|
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|
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Sneeze.
(Preview)
A man and woman are sitting beside each other on a flight across the world. The woman suddenly sneezes, takes out a tissue, and wipes her nose before visibly shuddering for about ten seconds. A few minutes later, the woman sneezes again. Once more, she takes a tissue, wipes her nose and shudders. A few m...
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Possum3
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1
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863
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