Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A bartender is waiting for closing time at his pub so he can lock up, and go home. Its a slow night and he has no customers.He hears a light knock at the back door, opens it, and there are 2 nuns there. One says, Mr Bartender, can we impose upon you for a wee favor? Certainly, Sister, what is it?Well, its not fo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I stopped by the Holden Colorado dealership yesterday, for a look at the current 2018 pickup thinking that I might be interested in one of these at the End Of Year runout sales.Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck "feel" before they become old.The seats were of part...

rgren2 · rgren2

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

No Nativity Scene in Canberra this YearThe Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene inthe nation's Capital this Christmas season.This isn't for any religious reason.They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in Canberra ..The search for a Virgin continues...There w...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A 70-year-old woman chose to stay overnight in a costly hotel as a treat for her birthday.The morning following her stay, she was appalled when the desk worker gave her a bill for $250. She asked why the room charge was so high.Its a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly arent worth $250 for just an overnig...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?Johnny: Seven.Teacher: No, listen carefully If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?Johnny: Seven.Teacher: Let me put it to you differentlyIf I gave you two apples, and an...

Aussie1 · Aussie1

I saw a car parked outside Woollies with a bumper sticker that said "I miss Alice Springs". So I smashed the windows, stole the radio, let the tyres down & left several empty VB cans on the back seat with a note saying "hope this helps"

erad · erad

Time to trot this chestnut out again.... Christmas Eve at the North Pole. Santa's alarm clock didn't go off, and he woke up 3 hours late for his epic run. In his rush to herd up the reindeer, they got spooked and took off into the forest. Santa had to go out on foot to round them up. 4 hours late... He loade...

rgren2 · rgren2

Southern Cruizer · Southern Cruizer

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

It snowed last night.8:00 am - I made a snowman8:10 am - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 am - So, I made a snow woman.8:17 am - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 am - The gay couple...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A few days before his wife's birthday:Husband: Dear. "What would you like for your present?"Wife: "I really don't think I should say."Husband: "How about a diamond ring?"Wife: "I don't care much for diamonds."Husband: "Well then, how about a mink coat?"Wife: "You know I do not like furs."Husband...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

So far today God, I have done alright.I havent gossiped. I havent lost my temper, and havent been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over indulgent. And I havent told anyone to mind their own business and stay out of mine. I am really glad about that.But in a few minutes, God, Im going to get out of bed; and...

Southern Cruizer · Southern Cruizer

rgren2 · rgren2

DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA Long August 31 Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was bea...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GODCOPPER COATED MICROCHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD.The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead.When properly installed, it will instantly allow the terrorist to speak to God.It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 t...

Southern Cruizer · Southern Cruizer

It's cold in here

Nevd · Nevd

Bicyclecamper · Bicyclecamper

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A bartender.. (Preview) A bartender is waiting for closing time at his pub so he can lock up, and go home. Its a slow night and he has no customers.He hears a light knock at the back door, opens it, and there are 2 nuns there. One says, Mr Bartender, can we impose upon you for a wee favor? Certainly, Sister, what is it?Well, its not fo...	aussie_paul	0	579	08:21 PM Dec 19, 2024 by aussie_paul
	I stopped.. (Preview) I stopped by the Holden Colorado dealership yesterday, for a look at the current 2018 pickup thinking that I might be interested in one of these at the End Of Year runout sales.Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new truck "feel" before they become old.The seats were of part...	aussie_paul	1	844	06:46 PM Dec 19, 2024 by Southern Cruizer
	Don’t. (Preview)	rgren2	0	677	10:59 AM Dec 19, 2024 by rgren2
	No Nativity Scene in Canberra this Year.. (Preview) No Nativity Scene in Canberra this YearThe Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene inthe nation's Capital this Christmas season.This isn't for any religious reason.They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in Canberra ..The search for a Virgin continues...There w...	aussie_paul	0	605	09:55 PM Dec 18, 2024 by aussie_paul
	A 70-year-old woman.. (Preview) A 70-year-old woman chose to stay overnight in a costly hotel as a treat for her birthday.The morning following her stay, she was appalled when the desk worker gave her a bill for $250. She asked why the room charge was so high.Its a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly arent worth $250 for just an overnig...	aussie_paul	0	605	09:53 PM Dec 18, 2024 by aussie_paul
	Teacher.. (Preview) Teacher: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?Johnny: Seven.Teacher: No, listen carefully If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?Johnny: Seven.Teacher: Let me put it to you differentlyIf I gave you two apples, and an...	aussie_paul	0	491	09:51 PM Dec 18, 2024 by aussie_paul
	Home Sick.... (Preview) I saw a car parked outside Woollies with a bumper sticker that said "I miss Alice Springs". So I smashed the windows, stole the radio, let the tyres down & left several empty VB cans on the back seat with a note saying "hope this helps"	Aussie1	9	1171	10:00 AM Dec 17, 2024 by Aussie1
	Christmas Eve at the North Pole (Preview) Time to trot this chestnut out again.... Christmas Eve at the North Pole. Santa's alarm clock didn't go off, and he woke up 3 hours late for his epic run. In his rush to herd up the reindeer, they got spooked and took off into the forest. Santa had to go out on foot to round them up. 4 hours late... He loade...	erad	0	774	10:28 PM Dec 15, 2024 by erad
	Is it? (Preview)	rgren2	1	822	06:54 PM Dec 15, 2024 by woolman
	Climate change kids (Preview)	Southern Cruizer	0	641	03:55 PM Dec 15, 2024 by Southern Cruizer
	A joke... (Preview) It snowed last night.8:00 am - I made a snowman8:10 am - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 am - So, I made a snow woman.8:17 am - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 am - The gay couple...	aussie_paul	2	1133	07:21 PM Dec 13, 2024 by Whenarewethere
	Pop says.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	805	08:32 PM Dec 11, 2024 by aussie_paul
	Ultimate Birthday Present for the Wife: (Preview) A few days before his wife's birthday:Husband: Dear. "What would you like for your present?"Wife: "I really don't think I should say."Husband: "How about a diamond ring?"Wife: "I don't care much for diamonds."Husband: "Well then, how about a mink coat?"Wife: "You know I do not like furs."Husband...	aussie_paul	1	885	07:38 PM Dec 11, 2024 by Tony Bev
	A Morning Prayer.. (Preview) So far today God, I have done alright.I havent gossiped. I havent lost my temper, and havent been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over indulgent. And I havent told anyone to mind their own business and stay out of mine. I am really glad about that.But in a few minutes, God, Im going to get out of bed; and...	aussie_paul	1	907	07:37 PM Dec 11, 2024 by Tony Bev
	Christmas Driving (Preview)	Southern Cruizer	0	655	07:36 PM Dec 11, 2024 by Southern Cruizer
	The Pom in WA. (Preview) DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA Long August 31 Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was bea...	rgren2	1	1123	05:38 PM Dec 11, 2024 by Bicyclecamper
	MICROCHIP IMPLANT.. (Preview) ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GODCOPPER COATED MICROCHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD.The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead.When properly installed, it will instantly allow the terrorist to speak to God.It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 t...	aussie_paul	3	1100	02:59 PM Dec 11, 2024 by 67HR
	Turn up the heat (Preview) It's cold in here	Southern Cruizer	0	704	07:06 PM Dec 9, 2024 by Southern Cruizer
	Christmas eve (Preview)	Nevd	1	681	03:56 PM Dec 9, 2024 by DMaxer
	xmas (Preview)	Bicyclecamper	8	1039	11:29 AM Dec 8, 2024 by BasilB
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