|
The Aussie BBQ routine....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
634
|
|
|
|
|
Why?
(Preview)
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch the television, She asked "Why stop"? "Found the remote"! He replied.
|
Possum3
|
3
|
766
|
|
|
|
|
Swearing...
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
924
|
|
|
|
|
Privacy..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
784
|
|
|
|
|
Low mileage
(Preview)
A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000. Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
855
|
|
|
|
|
Ancient skull....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
4
|
1005
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny
(Preview)
Gday... A road crew supervisor hired Johnny to paint the line down the middle of a highway. He was sceptical about hiring him given he didnt have experience, but he said he really needed the job. He told Johnny he needed to complete 2km per day, then set him up with brushes and paint. After day one, the sup...
|
rockylizard
|
2
|
879
|
|
|
|
|
Password
(Preview)
Gday... I was staying overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do some data entry. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, Whats the Wi-Fi password? you need to buy a drink first, he said. OK, Ill have a beer I said. He served me a beer and told me it was $`12. OK then, here...
|
rockylizard
|
2
|
708
|
|
|
|
|
Lets go camping
(Preview)
The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a weeks vacation in Queensland, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was full...
|
fwdoz
|
2
|
590
|
|
|
|
|
Returning a package
(Preview)
A blonde woman strode angrily into the large store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction. The clerk asked "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?" The blonde's eyes got very large, and she whispered "Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are for cat...
|
fwdoz
|
1
|
689
|
|
|
|
|
The Lawyer & the Engineer.
(Preview)
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing while on holiday and began talking. The lawyer said, Im here because my house burnt down and everything was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. Thats quite a coincidence, remarked the engineer. Im here because my house and all my bel...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
692
|
|
|
|
|
Stutter
(Preview)
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
760
|
|
|
|
|
Ransacked house
(Preview)
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarised. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the h...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
610
|
|
|
|
|
Newlyweds
(Preview)
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart" she sobs "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone ra...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
652
|
|
|
|
|
Those special pills
(Preview)
I am writing for a good friend of mine. His wife told him to go out and obtain some of those pills that would help him get an erection. When he came back, he handed her diet pills. Anyway, he's looking for a place to live.
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
577
|
|
|
|
|
Anthropology
(Preview)
A couple of anthropologists fly to the South Sea islands to study the locals. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague his doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a grou...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
467
|
|
|
|
|
A different Johny story.....
(Preview)
A young man, CALLED jOHNNY, was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night ?""Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you s...
|
aussie_paul
|
5
|
1231
|
|
|
|
|
Hearing
(Preview)
An old bloke went to the doctor and complained that he had a hearing problem. The doctor said "Tell me about your symptoms "The old bloke said; "Well Homer is a fat guy and Marge has got blue hair".
|
Possum3
|
2
|
719
|
|
|
|
|
Something for the pup .
(Preview)
|
Aus-Kiwi
|
0
|
689
|
|
|
|
|
Lost
(Preview)
John and Sonya are flying to Australia for a two week holiday to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the speaker the captain announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
653
|
|
|
