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Truisms
(Preview)
"Do not touch" Would be one of the scariest things to read in braille. During labour a woman can almost imagine what a man feels when he has a cold. "Yes officer, I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn't see you". Its ok to disagree with me, I can't force you to be right. Arguing with a woman is like readin...
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Magnarc
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2
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875
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A real woman.
(Preview)
An aeroplane gets into difficulty and the passengers begin to worry that it is going to crash. One female passenger jumps out of her seat and shouts: "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She then removes all her clothing and asks: "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to mak...
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Possum3
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0
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850
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Piercings...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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788
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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688
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The local drug dealer
(Preview)
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion. He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
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fwdoz
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3
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689
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Kids.
(Preview)
A little girl and boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said: Hey Bobby, do you want to play house?. Sure, he replied, what do you want me to do?. I want you to communicate, little Susie replied. That word is too big. I have no idea what it means, Bobby said. The little girl smirked and said, pe...
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Possum3
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0
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683
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Automotive Airconditioners
(Preview)
The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner.Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends.The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 194...
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rgren2
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2
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816
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This is not a scam
(Preview)
THIS IS NOT A SCAM. If you're 18 or older and you looking to receive $300 to $800 a week. Go get a bloody job.
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fwdoz
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1
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703
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What gives?
(Preview)
The teacher asked "All right children, who can tell me what a chicken gives?" Mary answered "A chicken gives eggs!" The teacher then asked "Now who can tell me what a goat gives?" And Paul answered "A goat gives goat milk!" And finally, the teacher asked "Well now, who can tell me what a cow gives?" And Li...
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fwdoz
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1
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683
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A blonde & her dogs
(Preview)
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde " They're...
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fwdoz
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1
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738
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Nobel Prize professor
(Preview)
A Nobel Prize winning mathematician is traveling from university to university on a speaking tour by limousine. After several engagements the mathematician and his driver are having dinner and the driver says "I've heard your speech so many times I think I could give it word-for-word". The mathem...
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fwdoz
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1
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732
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A wife complains
(Preview)
A wife complains to her husband: "Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can't you do the same?" The husband: "Are you mad? I barely know that woman!"
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fwdoz
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1
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625
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Hunting for deer
(Preview)
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.Jake asks "What are you up to?" Alice smiles and says "I'm going...
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fwdoz
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1
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755
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Contractor and the Pearly Gates
(Preview)
A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.Just when he thinks things can't possib...
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fwdoz
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1
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738
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Ed the drunk
(Preview)
Ed came home drunk, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife and fell into a deep slumber.He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said "You died in your sleep, Ed".Ed was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said "I'm sorry, but there's only one...
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fwdoz
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1
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674
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Dr Geezer
(Preview)
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.He put a sign up outside that said: DR. GEEZER'S CLINIC. GET YOUR TREATMENT FOR $500. IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $1,000.Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this wou...
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fwdoz
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1
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672
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The retiring priest
(Preview)
A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local figure and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited...
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fwdoz
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1
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814
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How is Noreen?
(Preview)
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"The operator said "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said "Noreen, in Room 302"....
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fwdoz
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1
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835
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The boy finally speaks
(Preview)
The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word - ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said "Soup's cold". His astonished mother exclaimed "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you've never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The b...
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fwdoz
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0
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559
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Good old Moonshine
(Preview)
Two old boys got together to do some fishing. One of them brought along a jar of 'shine' to sip on while they were fishing. After an hour or so it had gotten hot and the minnows were moving pretty slow in the bucket so one of them drizzled a little 'shine' into the minnow bucket and they perked right up. So he r...
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fwdoz
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0
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613
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