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Ageing - Brilliant!!!!!
(Preview)
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERSYOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?WELL......YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THEWAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH ANEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA,WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.SUDDENL...
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aussie_paul
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2
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790
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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443
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Deaf Couple.
(Preview)
A deaf couple check into a hotel very late at night and, after moving into their assigned room, they fall straight into bed. In the middle of the night, the woman has a headache so she goes to the bathroom for aspirin. But after struggling to find any she remembers she left them in the car and, afraid to go o...
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Possum3
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0
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531
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Relief
(Preview)
A man walk in to the the chemist with raised hand :The chemist ask:hand cream?No , five Viagra tablets.Five woman I have a date today.Next day a man turn up again hand in the air.The chemist say: I know ,five Viagra.No. The man says,Hand cream. None of the women turned up.
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rgren2
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0
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577
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Sneeze.
(Preview)
A man and woman are sitting beside each other on a flight across the world. The woman suddenly sneezes, takes out a tissue, and wipes her nose before visibly shuddering for about ten seconds. A few minutes later, the woman sneezes again. Once more, she takes a tissue, wipes her nose and shudders. A few m...
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Possum3
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1
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743
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Strip club
(Preview)
Johns wife thinks that hes pushing himself too hard, so she decides to take him to a city strip club for his birthday. The doorman at the club greets the pair and says: Hello John! Welcome back! His wife is confused and asks if hes been to this club before. Oh no sweetheart, says John. Hes just on my golf tea...
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Possum3
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1
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663
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Injuns
(Preview)
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would le...
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reikioz
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0
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677
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Friendship.
(Preview)
Friendship between Women A woman doesn't come home one night. Next morning, she tells her husband she stayed over at a girlfriend's place. The husband rings ten of her best friends and not one of them knew anything about it. Friendship between men. A man doesn't come home one night. Next morning, he te...
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Possum3
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1
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603
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Fluctuations
(Preview)
I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was very irritated .. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it chang...
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Paintar
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2
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591
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Wrecked the Tractor.
(Preview)
A boy overturned his fathers tractor. The farmer who lived next door saw what happened so he went over to the boy and said: Hey son, dont worry about that. Come over and have dinner with us and Ill help you get the tractor up later. Thats really nice of you, the boy replied. But I dont think my dad would like m...
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Possum3
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1
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604
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Still funny oldies...not intended to be discriminatory...
(Preview)
Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his motherasks why he replys. "The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all thelittle white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that." Momsays "cause u black and they white." Next day Tyrone is crying again ."What's wrong today T...
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aussie_paul
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1
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651
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Seen on the back of a city bus in Germany....
(Preview)
could be useful in Canberra at the moment !!! K.J.
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kiwijims
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0
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587
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MAN RULES
(Preview)
AT LAST A BLOKE HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE... NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE THESE ARE OUR RULES! PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE! 1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS. 1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S...
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Possum3
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1
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624
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The top ten jokes at the Edinburgh fringe were:
(Preview)
1. Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day Adam Rowe 2. I had a job drilling holes for water it was well boring Leo Kearse 3. I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I dont pay it back, Im going to get repossessed Olaf Falafel 4. In my la...
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Possum3
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0
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534
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Georgia Judge
(Preview)
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been...
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Possum3
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2
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1191
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Heaven awaits
(Preview)
A priest walked into a bar and made an announcement. Anyone who wants to go to heaven, stand up. Everybody in the bar stood up except for one drunk man sitting in the corner. The priest looked to the man. My son, dont you want to go to heaven when you die? He asked. When I die? The man asked. Sure. I just thoug...
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Possum3
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2
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594
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Golf
(Preview)
A man is on a golf course and stands over his tee shot for what seems like an eternity. He looks up, looks down, measures the distance and figures out the wind direction and speed. Fed up, his cranky golf partner finally says, Oi! Whats taking so long? Hit the bloody ball! Pausing for a moment, the man look...
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Possum3
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2
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771
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Bubba.
(Preview)
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gary. The three men had always done everything together!!!!! Darryl arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet Darryl said, Yup, h...
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Possum3
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1
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809
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Too drunk.
(Preview)
A woman is cheating on her husband with another man one evening when they hear a noise downstairs. Dear lord, is your husband home? the man asks. What am I going to do? Relax, the woman says. Just stay in bed with me. Hes probably drunk and he wont even notice you. The husband eventually drags himself upst...
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Possum3
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1
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627
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More funnies
(Preview)
Simple things can be serious. "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot died. "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competitio...
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Possum3
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1
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855
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