|
I GOT MY CONCEALED CARRY PERMIT YESTERDAY MORNING
(Preview)
I GOT MY CONCEALED CARRY PERMIT YESTERDAY MORNINGIn the afternoon, I went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."Making a mental note to complain to my MP about how unne...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
917
|
|
|
|
|
Simple Remedies
(Preview)
Amazingly simple home remedies: 1. Avoid cutting yourself whilst slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. 2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed f...
|
Cadpete
|
4
|
1049
|
|
|
|
|
Lance Corporals...
(Preview)
Two good old boys, Mick & Paddy, have been promoted from privates toLance Corporals. Not long afterward, they're out for a walk and Micksays, "Hey, Paddy, there's the NCO Club; let's you and me step in.""But we're only privates," protests Paddy."We're Lance Corporals now," says Mick, pointin...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
886
|
|
|
|
|
Love?
(Preview)
Who loves you more, Your wife or your dog? If you really want to know - Lock them both in the boot of your car. Then let them out after an hour or so, Then See who's happy to see you.
|
Possum3
|
1
|
860
|
|
|
|
|
Medical Problem
(Preview)
My Upcoming Surgery When I first noticed that my penis was growing and staying erect longer, I was delighted. So was my wife.But, after several weeks, my penis had grown to 13 inches.I became quite concerned. Soon I was having problems dressing and even walking. So my wife and I went to see a prominent...
|
hako
|
1
|
925
|
|
|
|
|
Irish Baby.
(Preview)
An Irishman was drinking in a pub in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's a...
|
hako
|
1
|
975
|
|
|
|
|
Pulled over
(Preview)
A Cop stopped me and asked "Do you know why I've been following you?", So I Said, "Because my TWEETS are funny". We laughed and slapped hands in a "High Five" Can someone please put up the $150 Bail for me.
|
Possum3
|
1
|
920
|
|
|
|
|
Because.
(Preview)
"Mommy, why were you bouncing on Daddy's belly last night?" "Oh Honey, I Have to do that otherwise Daddy's belly will get Fat" "It won't work". "Why Honey?" "Coz the Babysitter keeps blowing him up again".
|
Possum3
|
2
|
813
|
|
|
|
|
The cat.
(Preview)
A teacher found one of her students crying in the playground one day. Whats wrong? she asked. Has someone been bullying you? No, the boy sobbed. I found a cat, but its dead. The teacher was shocked. How do you know the cat is dead? Because I pissed in his ear and he didnt move, the kid replied. YOU DID WH...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
882
|
|
|
|
|
Romance "Oh so True"
(Preview)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY! Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive...
|
67HR
|
0
|
1080
|
|
|
|
|
Elevator.
(Preview)
This morning I was beaten up by a Busty Woman in an elevator. I was staring at her Boobs. She said, "'Would you please press One". So I did. I don't remember much after that.
|
Possum3
|
2
|
1188
|
|
|
|
|
POOR judge
(Preview)
A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce? "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by. "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case? "It is made of concre...
|
JayDee
|
1
|
1128
|
|
|
|
|
Reminds me of a few I know
(Preview)
|
Aus-Kiwi
|
0
|
1005
|
|
|
|
|
Onions
(Preview)
.My stupid friend said that onions are the only food that makes you cry. - So I threw a coconut at his face
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1075
|
|
|
|
|
Mom's curse
(Preview)
Mom, I'm sorry for all the things I did as a Kid. Would you please take the curse off me - "That my Kid's will be ten times worse than me". Please, I simply can't take it any more. -- Edited by Possum3 on Thursday 16th of November 2017 01:23:07 PM
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1125
|
|
|
|
|
Pick the pictures
(Preview)
Pick what are the following six pictures Take your time and have a good look The answers are at the bottom of the page Picture 1 Picture 2 Picture 3 Picture 4 Picture 5 Picture 6 And the correct answers are Scroll down a bit Picture 1 = Pool Table Picture 2 = Tap Dancer Picture 3 = Card Shark Picture 4 =...
|
Tony Bev
|
0
|
804
|
|
|
|
|
Hard seat.
(Preview)
Old couple sitting in a Doctor's waiting room on hard seats. He says, "We've been here so long my butt's asleep". She replies, I know, I've heard it snoring a couple of times".
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1114
|
|
|
|
|
Forrest Gump Vs St Peter.
(Preview)
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. Saint Peter says, Well, Forrest, its certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
1259
|
|
|
|
|
Ugly logic
(Preview)
If a Man says you're ugly...He is just being mean. If a Woman say's you're ugly... She is Just jealous. If a child says you're ugly... You're just ugly.
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1333
|
|
|
|
|
MY CAREER - 2ND TRY
(Preview)
My first job was at an orange juice company, but I couldnt concentrate. Then I worked at a Jam Factory , but I got canned, After that I tried being a Tailor, but I wasnt suited for it it was only a sew sew job anyway. I tried working at a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting. I tried being a chef, I thoug...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1021
|
|
|
