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Positive Outlooks..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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631
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Dr advice.
(Preview)
I just had a physical and the Doctor said "Don't eat anything fatty". I said "What! Like bacon or hamburgers?" He said "No Fatty don't eat anything"
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Possum3
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2
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645
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Mum and daughter.
(Preview)
I ended up with an older woman last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. InFact she wasn't too bad at all, and I foundmyself think that she probably had a reallyhot daughter.We drank a bit (well, more than a bit) we hada snuggle, and she asked me if I had everhad a "Sportsman's Double?"."Wha...
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rgren2
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0
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601
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Lost wife
(Preview)
A man was wondering through a large supermarket when he approached the very beautiful woman. Excuse me, Ive lost my wife here in the supermarket, he said. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes? Why? the woman asked. He replied: Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowh...
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Possum3
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0
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567
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Loose Girl
(Preview)
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl. The priest asks, Is that you, little Joey Pagano? Yes, Father, it is. And who was the girl you were with? I cant tell you, Father. I dont want to ruin her reputation. Well, Joey, Im sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tel...
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Paintar
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0
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530
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Surfer Boy
(Preview)
A surfer, who is well known for the amount of waves he catches, is asked for his secret. "It's simple," he replies. "When I get up in the morning and my wife is lying on her right side, I only take waves with a right break. If she is lying on her left side, I only take waves with a left break." "But, suppose she i...
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Possum3
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1
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675
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Atheist on plane.
(Preview)
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said: Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. What would you want to talk about? the little girl replied to the stranger. Oh I dont know, the atheist said. How about w...
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Possum3
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1
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631
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Parachute.
(Preview)
Doing the rounds of his barns in a remote country area, a farmer came across a parachutist who had landed in a pile of hay. "What happened?" asked the farmer, who knew tourists often visited the region for parachuting. "My chute failed to open," the parachutist replied. "Ah well, if you'd asked the loc...
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Possum3
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1
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598
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Understanding Engineers
(Preview)
Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the gr...
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Cadpete
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8
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960
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Senior Moments
(Preview)
A must watch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yn6sik-fkc
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Dave1952
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1
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866
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The Guitarist
(Preview)
As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the countryside. As I was not familiar with that area in the middle of nowhere, I got lost.I finally ar...
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fwdoz
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2
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956
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Elderly couple watching TV
(Preview)
An elderly couple were at home watching TV. Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said "For God's sake, Phil... leave it on the porn channel... you know how to fish!"
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fwdoz
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2
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803
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Pull Buddy pull!
(Preview)
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move. "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge. "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer says "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car...
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fwdoz
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3
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711
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Speeding Police car
(Preview)
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the scene of an accident".
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fwdoz
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1
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703
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Dinner at the White House
(Preview)
This is an extract from Hillary Clinton's autobiography 'The Truth Will Always Prevail '. To be released soon..."Some years ago, nearing dinner time at the White House, our regular cook fell ill and they had to get a replacement on short notice. He wasn't the smartest looking guy, in fact he seemed a b...
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fwdoz
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2
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633
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Be aware of dating sites !!
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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1
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832
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Human Trafficker
(Preview)
A stewardess goes to the flight deck and says "Captain, I believe we have a human trafficker on board. There is a pretty, younger lady back there next to this ugly, horrible, fat, old, slobbering sexual deviant!". The captain says "You're new here, aren't you? This is Air Force One".
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fwdoz
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0
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594
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Cheap meat
(Preview)
The best and cheapest meat is deer balls You can get them from under a buck.
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Steve794
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11
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966
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Checking under the bed?
(Preview)
I question the practice of checking under the bed for prowlers etc prior to going to bed - What are you going to do if you find one?
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Possum3
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1
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809
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Gardening With Grandma...
(Preview)
A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra.Her grandmother has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!' And out she goes..The next day the tee...
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aussie_paul
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0
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595
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