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How much?
(Preview)
A pretty young woman walked up to the fabric counter at a store and said, I would like to buy this material for my new dress. How much does it cost? Only one kiss per metre, replied the male clerk with a smirk on his face. Thats fine, said the woman. Ill take five metres. With expectation and anticipation wr...
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Possum3
|
0
|
662
|
|
|
|
|
Tips for genuine Aussie Country Etiquette....
(Preview)
IN GENERAL: 1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview... 2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them. 3. It's tacky to take your Esky to Church. 4. If you have to vacuum your bed, it's time you changed your sheets.... 5. Even if your certain you're included in the Will, its con...
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Goldfinger
|
1
|
625
|
|
|
|
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Animal Heaven
(Preview)
A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died. All three are faced with God, who wants to know what they believe in. The German shepherd says, I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master. Good, says God. Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in? The Doberman answer...
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Possum3
|
0
|
574
|
|
|
|
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Friday Funnies
(Preview)
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship" the wife explained. "He studied communications, and I studied theatre arts. He communicates really well, and I just a...
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fwdoz
|
0
|
590
|
|
|
|
|
Mother.
(Preview)
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. When he reached the checkout line he realised the old lady was in front of him in line. Pardon me, she turned around and said to the...
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Possum3
|
1
|
666
|
|
|
|
|
Circus Family.
(Preview)
A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social worker isnt sure theyll be fit for the job. To convince her, the couple shows the social worker photos of their two storey house, which is clean, well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nurse...
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Possum3
|
1
|
512
|
|
|
|
|
New I Phone.
(Preview)
I got a new I Phone with great features. I asked Alexa, "What do women want" The damn thing hasn't stopped talking for two days.
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Possum3
|
0
|
539
|
|
|
|
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Garage Door
(Preview)
Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'The boss told h...
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Paintar
|
0
|
666
|
|
|
|
|
Rich Art Collector.
(Preview)
An attorney was representing a wealthy art collector. One day the attorney called his client and said, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The art collector replied, Ive had an awful day so lets hear the good news first. The attorney said, Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me th...
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Possum3
|
0
|
498
|
|
|
|
|
Phil's Scrotum.....
(Preview)
Phil's ScrotumThe pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was e...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
641
|
|
|
|
|
Latest Darwin Awards announced in USA.
(Preview)
Darwin awards for 2018 Nominee No. 1 (San Jose Mercury News): An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut. Nominee No. 2 (Kalamazoo Gazette): James Burns, 34, a mec...
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Possum3
|
0
|
568
|
|
|
|
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Paddy and Mick
(Preview)
Whilst touring Ireland, a man stopped at a rural service station. After filling up his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink the coke and watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other would...
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Possum3
|
0
|
481
|
|
|
|
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Security System
(Preview)
1. Go to Salvo's and buy used pair of 16 - 18 boots. 2. Place on front patio, with a copy of "Guns And Ammo"magazine. 3. Get four large dog dishes and place on front patio. 4. Leave a note on your door that reads; Bubba, Me and Marcel and Billy Ray went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour, don't mess with t...
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Possum3
|
5
|
770
|
|
|
|
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Wisdom
(Preview)
|
Hendo
|
0
|
589
|
|
|
|
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Accident at work.
(Preview)
A man was working on a construction site when he accidentally cut off all of his fingers with an electric saw. He rushed to the emergency room as quickly as he could. His doctor looked at his hand and said, Give me the fingers, and Ill see what I can do. The man shook his head and replied, But I dont have the fi...
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Possum3
|
0
|
579
|
|
|
|
|
Age Related Humour...cartooonies...
(Preview)
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Goldfinger
|
1
|
915
|
|
|
|
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Manners.
(Preview)
Turning on Lights and Sirens is just plain bad manners, just for losing a drag race.
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Possum3
|
1
|
575
|
|
|
|
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Wilderness Honeymoon
(Preview)
A young couple were on their honeymoon. They were staying at remote, log cabin resort way up in the mountains. They had checked in early in the week and hadn't been seen since. The elderly couple who ran the resort began to get worries about the two. The old man decided to go and see if they were alright. He...
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Possum3
|
0
|
610
|
|
|
|
|
Happy wife.
(Preview)
I wanted to make sure my wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning. I'm not allowed to play with Texta Colours anymore.
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Possum3
|
0
|
815
|
|
|
|
|
Police Stop.
(Preview)
A Cop just pulled me up, and said "Papers". I said "Scissors I win" So I drove off. He must want a rematch coz he has been chasing me for 15 minutes.
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Possum3
|
0
|
659
|
|
|
