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Retiree Vacuuming....
(Preview)
After retiring, Joe does nothing except sit around the house all day. Fed up, his wife says, "Joe, you could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week." Joe looks at her for a moment and says, "Sure, why not. Where's the vacuum?" Half an hour later, he walks into the kitchen to get a coffee...
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aussie_paul
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2
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823
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Well, well, well ........
(Preview)
The wedding ceremony came to the point where the Minister asked if anyonehad anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She stood up an...
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aussie_paul
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5
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947
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Soldier Help
(Preview)
Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens. "That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?" "Ea...
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fwdoz
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2
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820
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BRAIN FART.....
(Preview)
If you need a laugh today like I do, this should take care of it.https://www.youtube.com/embed/Xv1tMioGgXI?rel=0Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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1
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835
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Seven shots
(Preview)
A man goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one beer. The bartender lines up shots and goes to get the beer. When he comes back with the pint, all seven shots are gone. The bartender looks shocked and says, Wow! You sure drank those fast. The man replies, You would drink fast too if you had wha...
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Possum3
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1
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1071
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A bit longer one.
(Preview)
I thought I saw Michael J Fox in a flower shop. I couldn't be really sure it was him because, he had his ..back to the fuchsia.
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Peterpan
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0
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1074
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Testing out the horses
(Preview)
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, ' Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to ma...
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fwdoz
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1
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1040
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Long Term Marriage The Italian Way
(Preview)
At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woma...
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fwdoz
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0
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996
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Arsenic
(Preview)
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The Pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The Pharmacist's eyes grew b...
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fwdoz
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1
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725
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The Boss Leaves Early
(Preview)
Three girls worked in an office with the same female boss and each day they noticed that the boss left work early. One day the three decided that when their boss left, they would leave shortly after her. After all, she never came back to work so she would never know that they went home early too. The brune...
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fwdoz
|
0
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761
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Mad Wife Disease
(Preview)
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. "What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura...
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fwdoz
|
0
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791
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|
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In the Confessional
(Preview)
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to h...
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fwdoz
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0
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707
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|
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David Thorne: The Lamp
(Preview)
This is something different; David Thorne uses sarcasm in his humour. You will either like it or you wont. If most you want more David Thorne, I will make him a weekly thing, if not, he will drop off into the abyss. Here is an example: David's neighbour has a bright lamp. From: Justin Flecker Date: Sunda...
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fwdoz
|
8
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1091
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A short one
(Preview)
I hate perforated lines...........they're tearable.
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Peterpan
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1
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617
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It was there.
(Preview)
A husband and wife are travelling by car from Atlanta to New York. After almost 24 hours on the road, they are too tired to continue and decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and get a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours late...
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Possum3
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0
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656
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Just like Mom.
(Preview)
Thomas was single for a while and one day his friend asked, Why arent you married? Cant you find a woman who will be a good wife? Thomas replied, Actually, Ive found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesnt like them. His friend thought for a moment and sai...
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Possum3
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0
|
589
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Two sides to every story
(Preview)
Two women are having a coffee and catching up: So, how was your evening last night? A disaster! After getting home, my dear beloved hubby wolfed down in 4 minutes the dinner that took me all afternoon to prepare, "granted" me 3 minutes of passionate love before rolling over and falling asleep two minut...
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fwdoz
|
1
|
723
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Case Study
(Preview)
Sex Study... It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead!
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fwdoz
|
2
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808
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The Blonde & the BMW that only works during the day
(Preview)
A Blonde Bombshell buys the new Automatic BMW X8 sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night the car just won't move at all. She tries driving the car at night for a week but still no luck. She then furiously calls the BMW dealers and they send out a technician to her. The technicia...
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fwdoz
|
1
|
628
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|
|
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It works.
(Preview)
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, You know, Ive lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes? The woman looked confused and asked, Why? Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.
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Possum3
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1
|
636
|
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