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What's for lunch?
(Preview)
Three construction workers were on the 75th floor of an unfinished building. The Italian opened his lunch box to find a pizza and said, Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death! The Australian opened his lunch box to find a meat pie and said, Man, if I get a mea...
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Possum3
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0
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1460
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Cuckoo.
(Preview)
A man goes out drinking with his friends after promising his wife that hed be home by midnight. Midnight comes and goes. He finally arrives home just before 3am. As he walks in, he realises the cuckoo clock is about to go off. With a flash of genius, he decides to coo another nine times to make it seem like i...
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Possum3
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0
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1123
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Location??
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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955
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24 hours to live.
(Preview)
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally,she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours t...
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Yendorane
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0
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1092
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Maaaate she’ll be right !!
(Preview)
Trust me I have done this before.,
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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903
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Bugger...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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5
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1709
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Blonde, again.
(Preview)
A blonde woman was speeding down the road on her way to visit a friend for a holiday. She was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively agitated. "What does it look like?" sh...
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Possum3
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0
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1393
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Present from UK
(Preview)
A woman goes to England to attend a two week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and tells her to have a good trip. "Thanks honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" the woman asks. The husband laughs and says: "An English girl!" The woman keeps quiet and leaves for the t...
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Possum3
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0
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1311
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In sync.
(Preview)
A husband and wife were in marriage counselling. The counsellor looked at them both and said softly, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. He addressed the husband, Can you describe your wifes favourite flower? The husband leaned over, touched his...
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Possum3
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0
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1378
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Last picture of live cat
(Preview)
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Paintar
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0
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1189
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Reincarnation..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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1311
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Confession.
(Preview)
A newly ordained priest, nervous about hearing confessions, finally asks an older priest to observe how he does and give some tips. After listening in on the second confession, the older priest suggested that the younger man fold his arms, maybe rub his chin with one hand while saying phrases like I s...
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Possum3
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0
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1088
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The most powerful liquid
(Preview)
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said "This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine". The Priest said "No, the most power...
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fwdoz
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1
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1194
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Polish Remover
(Preview)
A polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into the lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on circumstances, and a...
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Stretch60
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1
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1058
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David Thorne 2: The Snow Gloves
(Preview)
In this one, David gets some crap service for a faulty product, so he creates a phantom advertisement. Read on with amusement! From: anton@function4sports.com Date: Thursday 20 January 2011 11.14am To: David Thorne Subject: Advertisement I received the attached advertisement from a friend...
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fwdoz
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3
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1179
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seniors text codes
(Preview)
Young people have theirs, now WE Seniors have our own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * CBM- Covered by Medicare * SUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizens * DWI- Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * G...
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fwdoz
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1
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925
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Bigger in Texas.
(Preview)
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a holiday. There, he meets an Australian farmer and gets talking. The Aussie immediately shows him his big wheat field. "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large," the Texan says. They then walk around the ranch a little and the Australian shows off h...
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Possum3
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3
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662
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Appropriate uniform
(Preview)
A ship captain is walking on board when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, An enemy ship is approaching us! The captain replies calmly, Go get my red shirt. The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, they win. The soldier says, C...
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Possum3
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0
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944
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I Resemble these.....
(Preview)
Rest and Relax....We'll be dead soon enough....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Thursday 15th of November 2018 11:15:11 AM
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Goldfinger
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0
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1282
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Baby planes
(Preview)
A young boy is on an airplane with his mother. He asks her a question. "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, then why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mum smiles and tells her son to ask the flight attendant. So he does just that. The flight attendant asks the boy if his mum told him t...
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Possum3
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0
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875
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