|
IRS Audit.
(Preview)
An old man is met by his attorney, and is told he is going to be audited. He rides to the IRS office with his attorney, and when he gets there, he begins to talk with the IRS agent. "I bet $2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The IRS agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task. The old man laughs, pulls out...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1157
|
|
|
|
|
Prescription concern.
(Preview)
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, ... "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, ju...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1193
|
|
|
|
|
Little Harry.
(Preview)
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and Im smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!' Ms...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1190
|
|
|
|
|
DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
(Preview)
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you ..... I want a divorce right away!...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1095
|
|
|
|
|
Religious Experience.
(Preview)
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi were sitting around drinking coffee. Someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided that each would find a bear and attempt to conver...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1206
|
|
|
|
|
Morning laugh.....
(Preview)
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygenmask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1080
|
|
|
|
|
India's Got Talent
(Preview)
Talented alright...........
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1066
|
|
|
|
|
Spoonerisms...........try saying this
(Preview)
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a s****** (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. Must have been the speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without co...
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1272
|
|
|
|
|
Down South.
(Preview)
A judge interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce asks: "What are the grounds for your divorce? "About four acres & a nice little home in the middle of the property, with a stream running by. "No." he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?... "It is made of concre...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1181
|
|
|
|
|
Blind Sales Clerk.
(Preview)
A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She said, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and re...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1079
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny.
(Preview)
Johnny's teacher is giving a lesson on Nutrition and she decides to ask her students what they had for Breakfast. To add a Spelling Component, she asks the stud...ents to also spell their answers: Susan puts up her hand and says she had an Egg, 'E-G-G' "Very good." Says the teacher. Peter says he had To...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1467
|
|
|
|
|
Haircut
(Preview)
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'...d make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1385
|
|
|
|
|
Sample required.
(Preview)
An 85-year-old man was told by his Doctor to have a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, Take this jar home and br...ing back a sample tomorrow. The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctors office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as o...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1160
|
|
|
|
|
When it snows.
(Preview)
It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.... 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple li...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1013
|
|
|
|
|
Why?
(Preview)
So a old friend called and asked me if I could loan her $350 to help with her rent. I told her... id have to check my account and I'll call u right back" Before I could check my funds, her cousin called and said "Dont give her no money! Cause she been lying! Her cousin told me she wants to use that $350 to get her B...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
798
|
|
|
|
|
Justice.
(Preview)
On the first day after his divorce, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background musi...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1355
|
|
|
|
|
Dart board
(Preview)
|
Bobdown
|
2
|
1518
|
|
|
|
|
Fair cop.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1306
|
|
|
|
|
How often?
(Preview)
A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex: He asked. "How often should you have it?" His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as yo...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1150
|
|
|
|
|
You have $400....
(Preview)
Your daughter text she needs $200,and your son text he needs $150. How much do you have left?? ? ? ? ??Me: $400 and 2 unread messages. Aussie Paul.
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
1043
|
|
|
