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Down South.
(Preview)
A judge interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce asks: "What are the grounds for your divorce? "About four acres & a nice little home in the middle of the property, with a stream running by. "No." he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?... "It is made of concre...
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Possum3
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0
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1137
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Blind Sales Clerk.
(Preview)
A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She said, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and re...
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Possum3
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0
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1045
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Johnny.
(Preview)
Johnny's teacher is giving a lesson on Nutrition and she decides to ask her students what they had for Breakfast. To add a Spelling Component, she asks the stud...ents to also spell their answers: Susan puts up her hand and says she had an Egg, 'E-G-G' "Very good." Says the teacher. Peter says he had To...
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Possum3
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0
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1415
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Haircut
(Preview)
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'...d make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy...
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Possum3
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0
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1337
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Sample required.
(Preview)
An 85-year-old man was told by his Doctor to have a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, Take this jar home and br...ing back a sample tomorrow. The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctors office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as o...
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Possum3
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0
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1103
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When it snows.
(Preview)
It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.... 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple li...
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Possum3
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0
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959
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Why?
(Preview)
So a old friend called and asked me if I could loan her $350 to help with her rent. I told her... id have to check my account and I'll call u right back" Before I could check my funds, her cousin called and said "Dont give her no money! Cause she been lying! Her cousin told me she wants to use that $350 to get her B...
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Possum3
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0
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754
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Justice.
(Preview)
On the first day after his divorce, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background musi...
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Possum3
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0
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1296
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Dart board
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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2
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1461
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Fair cop.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
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1244
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How often?
(Preview)
A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex: He asked. "How often should you have it?" His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as yo...
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Possum3
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0
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1089
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You have $400....
(Preview)
Your daughter text she needs $200,and your son text he needs $150. How much do you have left?? ? ? ? ??Me: $400 and 2 unread messages. Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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0
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1007
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Kinfolk.
(Preview)
Two good ol' boys in a Arkansas trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local horse trailer manufa...cturing plant: After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd..... "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife whi...
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Possum3
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1
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1169
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Monday's cartoons
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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0
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1599
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The keys.
(Preview)
"Several days ago as I left the Bunnings in Rocky, to walk out to my ute and was reaching into my pocket from my car keys... got that sick feeling when I didn't find them there. I desperately gave myself a personal pat down, other pockets, shirt pocket, not there. Turned around real fast and trotted back i...
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Possum3
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1
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1634
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Let it snow.
(Preview)
On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have... 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow ploughs can get through. "So the good...
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Possum3
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0
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1512
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Tell me about it.
(Preview)
A financial advisor went out on his own. He was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon he realised he needed an in-house counsel, so he began interviewing young lawyers. As Im sure you can understand, he started off with one of the first applicants. In a business like this, our...
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Possum3
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0
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1327
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Hi Honey, it's me.
(Preview)
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.... MAN: Hello WOMAN: Hi Honey, its me. Are you at the club? MAN: Yes. WOMAN: Im at the shops now and found this b...
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Possum3
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0
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1173
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Pigs.
(Preview)
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them: At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five m...ale pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to d...
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Possum3
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0
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1568
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2 Mutes maybe for Sarah?????? ( No it was two Mules..) this is about two Mutes)
(Preview)
Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking to each other with sign language.Mute #1 (SIGN) "What would you like to do?"Mute #2 (SIGN) "I don't know, what about you?"Mute #1 (SIGN) "Let's get my car, find some girls, drive to a dark space and have some fun."Mute #2 (SIGN...
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JayDee
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0
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1177
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