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Paddy & Shamus.
(Preview)
An Aerlingus flight was due to land As they approached Dublin number 1 runway for the first ever landing, the tower heard: PILOT - Bjeesus will ya look how fookin shart dat runway is? CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy PILOT - Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus !... CO-PILOT - Ye...
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Possum3
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0
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753
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For the afterlife.
(Preview)
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just abou...t anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I want t...
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Possum3
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0
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887
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Wedding night.
(Preview)
On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple has an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of the groom's left foot. Unable to control her grief, the bride calls her mother from the hospital. "Mother," she sobs, "my husband has only one foot." The mother, trying to console her daugh...
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Possum3
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0
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764
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At the Market
(Preview)
Well told in a British accent..........
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Bobdown
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0
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800
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OOPS!
(Preview)
A wealthy businessman is about to enter a meeting at work when he realizes that he forgot some important paperwork. He calls home so that his wife can retrieve them. The maid answers the phone and says that his wife is busy. He demands that the maid put his wife on the phone. The maid informs the man that hi...
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Possum3
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0
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682
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a friend
(Preview)
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Craig1
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2
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709
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Woman's age.
(Preview)
A mother is driving her little girl to her friends house for a play day. Mummy, the little girl asks. How old are you? Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age, the mother replied. Its not polite. Okay, the little girl says. What colour was your hair two years ago? Now really, those are personal qu...
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Possum3
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1
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837
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Onions and Christmas Trees
(Preview)
Probably been listed here before if note... then...Onions and Christmas Trees A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs: In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and...
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JayDee
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0
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699
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I know it's old - but still funny.
(Preview)
Bear Remover A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for 'Bear Removers.' He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a bas...
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Possum3
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0
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649
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The Drover at the Pearly Gates
(Preview)
The Drover at the Pearly Gates A drover from a huge cattle station in the outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered. "Once, on a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out...
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JayDee
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0
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716
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On Heat
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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0
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768
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a good nurse
(Preview)
YOU HAVE TO LOVE A GOOD NURSE A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however,the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn'...
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Craig1
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0
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568
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little johnny again
(Preview)
Subject: Little Johnny strikes yet again (1) Johnny's teacher is giving a lesson on Nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for Breakfast.To add a Spelling Component, she asks the students to also spell their answers. Susan puts up her hand and says she had an Egg, 'E-G-G' 'Very g...
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Craig1
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0
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672
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Survey.
(Preview)
Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:- "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure because of the following:... In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" m...
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Possum3
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0
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660
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WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
(Preview)
Some oldies and a few new ones, worth a read again.............. Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures?Your last name stays put.The garage is all yours.Wedding plans take care of themselves.Chocolate is just another snack...You can never be pregnant.You c...
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Bobdown
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2
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727
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Kelley's Restaurant
(Preview)
A group of 45 year old guys discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally they agree to meet at the Kelley's Restaurant because the waitresses have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later at age 55, the group agrees to meet at Kelley's because the food is good and the wine selection is excel...
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Possum3
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0
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608
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He is a regular Mick. Dundee.
(Preview)
COLIN THE ABORIGINE A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood.. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time dri...
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JayDee
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0
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698
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Roulette.
(Preview)
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas. Shes down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims: What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now? A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests: I dont know, why dont you play your age? He walks away. Moments later, his at...
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Possum3
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0
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762
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Clever
(Preview)
A family was visiting a native reservation when they happened upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the ground. The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing. The tribesman began to speak: Woman, late thirties, three ki...
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Possum3
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0
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687
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AWOL.
(Preview)
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.' The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?' The nun replied, 'He went that way.' After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under...
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Possum3
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0
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640
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