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two body bits
(Preview)
ah well Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned badly. > The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his > two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had > always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a > hunting camp. > &g...
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Craig1
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0
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581
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Scottish hospitality
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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2
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1042
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Psychiatrist vs. Bartender
(Preview)
Psychiatrist vs. Bartender Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.So I went to a shrink and told him:I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."Just put yourself in my hands for one year,"...
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JayDee
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1
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715
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Dream job.
(Preview)
"A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare off...ice to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't...
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Possum3
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0
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637
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Pharmacist.
(Preview)
Joe walked into a Drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman... he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no male employees. She then asked if she could help him. Joe said that it was something that he would be much more comf...
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Possum3
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0
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637
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Phyllis Diller
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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0
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727
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Allergy?
(Preview)
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed... again, took a tissue, wi...
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Possum3
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0
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653
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Wasps.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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2
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738
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Looking for God
(Preview)
I knew a bloke who named his dog Winchester..............
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Bobdown
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0
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601
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When In Rome
(Preview)
Seven year old Mohammad entered his classroom in Dublin on the first day of school "Whats your name ? asked the teacher..........Mohammad miss Well, your in Ireland now, replied the teacher, so from now on you will be know as "Mick" Mohammad returned home from school and his mother asked, how was your...
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miroku12g
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1
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707
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Miss Beatrice.
(Preview)
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor went to check on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her o...
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Possum3
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0
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676
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Dr Anthony Fauci & Trumpy
(Preview)
goodness Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the U.S. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases told the President,Donald Trump : "This morning, 3 Brazilians were killed by Covid-19." Trump's face went egg-shell white with shock. The blood drained from his face and to everyones amazeme...
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Craig1
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0
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603
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Grandfather of the Year
(Preview)
again GRANDFATHER OF THE YEAR!! A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, and all sorts of things. The grandfather is saying in a controlled voice "Easy, Craig, we won't be long". Anot...
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Craig1
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0
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620
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Clever dog.
(Preview)
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: 10 lamb chops, please. Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dogs mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a...
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Possum3
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0
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696
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Quick thinker
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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3
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904
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Baptizing Paddy
(Preview)
Paddy is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks him, "Are you ready to fi...
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Possum3
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0
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687
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Yorkshire pizza bar
(Preview)
Another take on the angry Scottish pizza guy......
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Bobdown
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0
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963
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Condom use on an aircraft
(Preview)
Condom use on an aircraftA man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eyeing each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted. "Rear toilet?" He suggests. "Five minutes", she agrees and goes off. He wait...
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JayDee
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1
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853
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Little boy & a Priest.
(Preview)
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed that the man had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked the man why he was wearing his collar backwards... The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father...' The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'...
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Possum3
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0
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775
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The electric fence and the lawnmower..
(Preview)
We have a 6 ft. Square tube and welded wire fence in the front yard, and last Saturday, when I heard some thieving Punks might be bringing their BS out to the country, I wanted to make sure they ran into a little resistance before meeting my 12 Gauge, so I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the...
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Possum3
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5
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1289
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