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10 Pigs.
(Preview)
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to driv...
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Possum3
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0
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1066
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Math Lessons.
(Preview)
Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, flash cards, special learning centers. In a last-ditch effort, they took Tommy and... enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, Little Tommy came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't ki...
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Possum3
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0
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805
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Woman’s Job
(Preview)
Housework was a womans job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished! It turned out that Ralph had read an article that said, Wives who worked full-t...
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Possum3
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0
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1160
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Fairy tale,
(Preview)
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed som...
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Possum3
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1
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937
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Polilitically incorrect but extremely funny all the same
(Preview)
Moe Disaster appeal! Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2008 07:50:45 +0000 Hurricane Shazza hit Moe in the early hours of 17th November 2008. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering 'Faaackinell'. The hurricane devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of damage.. Three a...
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Roostertales
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4
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1237
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Passport problems
(Preview)
John Tucker, St Johns NL Canada This, apparently is an actual letter received by the Canadian Passport Office from an irate Newfoundlander attempting to renew his passport. Dear Sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Bell-Alliant has my add...
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Bobdown
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2
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1009
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Wimp.
(Preview)
Two kids are arguing over whose father is the wimpiest. The first one says, "My dad is so scared of lightning that when it strikes, he slides underneath our bed." The second kid says, "That's nothing. My dad is so scared of the dark that when my mother works night shift, he sleeps with the woman next door....
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Possum3
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0
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693
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Perspective.
(Preview)
Three Irishmen were sitting in the pub window seat...Watching the front door of a house of ill repute, over the road. The local Methodist pastor appeared, and quickly went inside. "Would you look at that!" said the first Irishman. "Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?" No sooner we...
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Possum3
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0
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536
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Peace and quiet
(Preview)
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
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fwdoz
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2
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1220
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Princess.
(Preview)
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane sh...
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Possum3
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0
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709
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Talking dog
(Preview)
A guy sees a sign in front of a house that says: Talking Dog for Sale. He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. You talk? he asks. Yep, the mutt replies. So, whats your story? The mutt looks up and says: Well, I d...
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Possum3
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1
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706
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Beware of Dog!
(Preview)
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign posted on the glass door that read: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager: Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of? Yep, that...
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Possum3
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0
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748
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Blind cowboy.
(Preview)
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of whiskey. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke? The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman...
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Possum3
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0
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627
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The Crusade.
(Preview)
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend: My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to us...
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Possum3
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0
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766
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Large portfolio.
(Preview)
An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife, three children and nurse stood close by. He said to them: Bill, you take the two mansions on 2nd street. Mary, you take the offices in the business centre. Debra, the apartments downtown are yours. To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings...
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Possum3
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0
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755
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Blonde Cook Book
(Preview)
Monday It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.... Tuesday Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a f...
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Possum3
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0
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772
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Today's jokes
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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0
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916
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Paddy again.
(Preview)
Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he ...could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, h...
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Possum3
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0
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817
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Facts?
(Preview)
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (D...
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Possum3
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5
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1798
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Med Students.
(Preview)
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: Im sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that. The other student says: No, I dont thin...
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Possum3
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0
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1067
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