|
Too drunk to drive
(Preview)
A police officer waited outside a popular pub hoping to catch a drunk driver in the act. At closing time, as everyone came out, he spotted a potential offender. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes looking for his car. After t...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
626
|
|
|
|
|
Seaside vacation.
(Preview)
A woman arrived rather late at night at a seaside hotel where she had made a reservation. All the lights were out, so she knocked on the door. After a long time a light appeared in an upstairs window and a man called out. "Who are you? What do you want?" he yelled down. "I'm staying here!" the woman replied...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
549
|
|
|
|
|
Now this is funny..or...am I warped? Kitty Flannagan at Restaurant...MP4 Video
(Preview)
Lee Mack and Kitty Flanagan..what a combination!.....Hoo Roo
|
Goldfinger
|
2
|
852
|
|
|
|
|
Husbans Store
(Preview)
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends...
|
Hendo
|
1
|
677
|
|
|
|
|
Reuse
(Preview)
At the end of the tax year, the Australian Tax Office sent a tax inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the taxman was checking the books, he turned to the executive of the hospital and said: I notice you buy a lot of bandages. I imagine there's a lot of wastage there. What do you do with the...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
609
|
|
|
|
|
Coincidence
(Preview)
A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne too! !'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me.I'm celebrating.'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woma...
|
rgren2
|
0
|
624
|
|
|
|
|
How much?
(Preview)
A pretty young woman walked up to the fabric counter at a store and said, I would like to buy this material for my new dress. How much does it cost? Only one kiss per metre, replied the male clerk with a smirk on his face. Thats fine, said the woman. Ill take five metres. With expectation and anticipation wr...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
612
|
|
|
|
|
Animal Heaven
(Preview)
A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died. All three are faced with God, who wants to know what they believe in. The German shepherd says, I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master. Good, says God. Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in? The Doberman answer...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
533
|
|
|
|
|
Tips for genuine Aussie Country Etiquette....
(Preview)
IN GENERAL: 1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview... 2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them. 3. It's tacky to take your Esky to Church. 4. If you have to vacuum your bed, it's time you changed your sheets.... 5. Even if your certain you're included in the Will, its con...
|
Goldfinger
|
1
|
549
|
|
|
|
|
Friday Funnies
(Preview)
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship" the wife explained. "He studied communications, and I studied theatre arts. He communicates really well, and I just a...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
536
|
|
|
|
|
New I Phone.
(Preview)
I got a new I Phone with great features. I asked Alexa, "What do women want" The damn thing hasn't stopped talking for two days.
|
Possum3
|
0
|
500
|
|
|
|
|
Every Public Transport needs a Clint Eastwood on board these days...short video..
(Preview)
Clint Eastwood had a winning way about him..didn't he?....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Friday 11th of January 2019 09:05:02 AM
|
Goldfinger
|
1
|
488
|
|
|
|
|
Garage Door
(Preview)
Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'The boss told h...
|
Paintar
|
0
|
627
|
|
|
|
|
Rich Art Collector.
(Preview)
An attorney was representing a wealthy art collector. One day the attorney called his client and said, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The art collector replied, Ive had an awful day so lets hear the good news first. The attorney said, Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me th...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
452
|
|
|
|
|
Phil's Scrotum.....
(Preview)
Phil's ScrotumThe pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was e...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
602
|
|
|
|
|
Latest Darwin Awards announced in USA.
(Preview)
Darwin awards for 2018 Nominee No. 1 (San Jose Mercury News): An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut. Nominee No. 2 (Kalamazoo Gazette): James Burns, 34, a mec...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
516
|
|
|
|
|
Paddy and Mick
(Preview)
Whilst touring Ireland, a man stopped at a rural service station. After filling up his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink the coke and watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other would...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
435
|
|
|
|
|
Circus Family.
(Preview)
A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social worker isnt sure theyll be fit for the job. To convince her, the couple shows the social worker photos of their two storey house, which is clean, well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nurse...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
469
|
|
|
|
|
Wisdom
(Preview)
|
Hendo
|
0
|
527
|
|
|
|
|
Security System
(Preview)
1. Go to Salvo's and buy used pair of 16 - 18 boots. 2. Place on front patio, with a copy of "Guns And Ammo"magazine. 3. Get four large dog dishes and place on front patio. 4. Leave a note on your door that reads; Bubba, Me and Marcel and Billy Ray went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour, don't mess with t...
|
Possum3
|
5
|
621
|
|
|
