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Thoughts from the shower….
(Preview)
* If you attempt to rob a bank you wont have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.* Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?* What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?* If poison expires, is it more poisonous...
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Best man..
(Preview)
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PC..
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A man walks in to a bar..
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An old pensioner..
(Preview)
An old pensioner walked up to a parking officer putting a ticket on the windscreen.You blokes are all the same: you never give a pensioner a break! Pack of bastards!Oh yeah? said the officer. Cop this, and wrote out another ticket with the first.Typical! said the pensioner, your mother probably work...
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Me..
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An elderly couple..
(Preview)
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired.Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd sha...
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There are no fish under the ice..
(Preview)
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on thesubject,and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE I...
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Woman stops 4 meter crocodile with .22 pistol!..
(Preview)
Cairns Woman Stops Crocodile Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol." (Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit).This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.Here's her story in her own words: "Wh...
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** Beware **
(Preview)
I ordered Chinese from a local place (won't name them) and went to pick it up.As I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!!I thought what on earth is that? Has something gotten into the bag?I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.I was driving so I pulled over and leaned for...
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Swat team..
(Preview)
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Love in the Aisle..
(Preview)
Love in the AisleI'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but eventually, there she was, standing beside me.I gave her a loving smile and said, Get that trolley over here...
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It's ok..
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After living in Shanghai..
(Preview)
After living in Shanghai for 50 years a Chinese man decides to move to Australia.He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa.A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region.He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chines...
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Oops..
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A Pal.
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Apocalypse
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Seniors..
(Preview)
Most seniors never get enough exercise.In His wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom, He made senio...
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A Mysterious Dog..
(Preview)
An old, tired-looking dog wanders into a man's gated yard one day. The man is a dog lover, so he lets him in. He examines the dog's collar and feels his well-fed belly, coming to the conclusion that the dog has a home.The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortab...
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He Slept With a Widow..
(Preview)
He Slept With a Widow Using His Friends Name. Sixteen Months Later? Oops!Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jacks station-wagon and headed north.After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attract...
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