|
ARE YOU A VET ?
(Preview)
ARE YOU A VET ?BE SURE TO READ TO THE VERY END.A German tourist jumped in the freezing water and savedMy precious little dog.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked out my puppy and toldme, "Ze dog is ok. He vill be fine."Due to his selfless heroic act, I asked, "Are you a vet?"He replied, "Vet ? I'm fuken...
|
aussie_paul
|
2
|
1000
|
|
|
|
|
Elevator.
(Preview)
This morning I was beaten up by a Busty Woman in an elevator.I was staring at her Boobs.She said, "'Would you please press One".So I did.I don't remember much after that. Aussie Paul.
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
869
|
|
|
|
|
A few laughs
(Preview)
|
Bobdown
|
3
|
1017
|
|
|
|
|
Could take a while to get into QLD
(Preview)
|
Rob Driver
|
0
|
596
|
|
|
|
|
A slight misunderstanding
(Preview)
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees an elderly Cowboy coming down the street with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, So he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks Why in the world are you dressed like this? Well, its like this Sheriff I was in t...
|
Rob Driver
|
0
|
621
|
|
|
|
|
Healthy living.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
744
|
|
|
|
|
Taxi.
(Preview)
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and lay on the back seat.The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.The woman glared back at him and said,"What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
568
|
|
|
|
|
BIOLOGY EXAM:
(Preview)
This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'. The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.However, h...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
674
|
|
|
|
|
The Dog.
(Preview)
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: Five lamb chops, please.Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dogs mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road...
|
Possum3
|
2
|
1255
|
|
|
|
|
Can you read this
(Preview)
not quite a joke > Can you meet this challenge? > > Weve seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time weve seen it with numbers. Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind. And better than that: Alzheimers is a long long, way down the ro...
|
Craig1
|
2
|
854
|
|
|
|
|
Python.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
874
|
|
|
|
|
The reaper.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
757
|
|
|
|
|
Hotline.
(Preview)
I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc....I called a Suicide Hotline.I had to press 1 for English.I was connected to a call center in Pakistan.I told them I was suicidal.They got excited and a...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
767
|
|
|
|
|
Black Bra.
(Preview)
Black Bra (as told by a woman):I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes....
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1004
|
|
|
|
|
Guido.
(Preview)
The Godfather hires a deaf bookkeeper called Guido, knowing hed hear nothing and could never testify against him.He discovers, however, a year later that the bookkeeper has embezzled $10 million.When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer wh...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
908
|
|
|
|
|
The Truth about Eddie
(Preview)
|
Craig1
|
2
|
1240
|
|
|
|
|
Drs advice.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
726
|
|
|
|
|
Shoe shine boy.
(Preview)
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal in minute detail while the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
523
|
|
|
|
|
Mafia hit man
(Preview)
Athur, wanted desperately to be a hit man for the Mafia so he approached the boss and asked him for a job. The boss says "You have to prove that you are good enough. Go out and kill these two men with your bare hands. And just to make it a hit, here's a dollar." Arthur is pleased that he has a chance to join the M...
|
Buzz Lightbulb
|
0
|
648
|
|
|
|
|
Dad did you know....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
843
|
|
|
