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Elderly Lady.
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My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.He said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be driving.""Well, y...
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Breaking news!
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Cyclist riding along the towpath finds the nude body of a man with a Weetbix protruding from his anus. Police are looking for a cereal killer. -- Edited by Magnarc on Tuesday 2nd of September 2025 07:29:01 AM
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Dangerous sports..
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Half price fare..
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Half price fare.An airline introduced a half-price fare for women accompanying their husbands on business trips.Expecting valuable testimonials, the airline wrote to all of the wives whod used the special rate, asking them if they enjoyed their trip.Letters are still pouring in asking, What tr...
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And you thought..
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And you thought you'd out smarted them Authorities found a Nigerian man dead in his apartment surrounded by more than $17billon US in cash. Seems he'd been trying to give it away for yrs but no one would reply to his emails
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Email..
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An old man..
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An old man at the end of a jetty was selling seagulls $2.50 for one, or three for five bucks.A curious tourist approached him and said, Ill take one, please, before handing over his money.The old man pocketed the money, pointed up to the sky and said: See that one there? Thats your one.
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Short story...
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Man driving up windy country road.Woman driving down windy country road.As cars pass each other woman yells out window; "PIG!"Man retorts "BITCH!"Man rounds next curve and the man crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road, and dies.Thought for the day; IF MEN WOULD JUST LISTEN.
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While in China..
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Coupla funnies.
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Coffee
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DNA test..
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A mother thinks there is something strange about her son so she has a DNA test done in secret.After a long, nervous few days of waiting, the results finally come back.She is shocked to find out that her son is not actually related to her or her husband at all.With a heavy heart, she approaches her husband...
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Vacancy
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Transfender
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The Bicycle Ride..
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The Bicycle RideI went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.It turned out to be a very go...
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From work it out yourself..
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From work it out yourself or else to Kumbaya and mental illnessI think this chronological progression of our education system is brilliantTeaching Maths from the 1950s to Today1. Teaching Maths in the 1950s ...A forester sells a lorryload of timber for $100His cost of production is 4/5 of the price...
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Fiona..
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Fiona, a little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor Paddy and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Paddy asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"Fiona says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster...
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1970s
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A couple more..
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Oops!!! -- Edited by aussie_paul on Tuesday 26th of August 2025 09:54:07 PM
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A couple more..
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Loving HusbandThe room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and tr...
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