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HOW MUCH PAINT.
(Preview)
Sven and Ollie live in the same apartment building in identical flats. Sven visits Ollie and sees that he just painted his flat and it looks great.He says, Ollie, this looks amazing. How many cans of paint did you buy? Ollie says he bought seven. ..The next day Sven drives to the store, buys seven cans o...
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aussie_paul
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0
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473
|
|
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Lawyer.
(Preview)
The Church of The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.The volunteer opened the meeting by saying,"Our research shows that even though your annual income is well over tw...
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Possum3
|
1
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938
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|
|
|
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Local pub.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
|
688
|
|
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Daddy Longlegs.
(Preview)
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.He went over to her to see what work of God had ca...
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Possum3
|
0
|
516
|
|
|
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Arthur is 85 years old.
(Preview)
He's played golf every day since his retirement 20 years ago.One day, he arrives home looking downcast."That's it...." he tells his wife, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad."Oh no!" she replied.Arthur then tells her, "Once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went!"His wife sympathi...
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aussie_paul
|
0
|
698
|
|
|
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Blue Grass.
(Preview)
The donkey told the tiger, "The grass is blue." The tiger replied, "No, the grass is green ."The discussion became heated, and the two decided to submit the issue to arbitration, so they approached the lion. As they approached the lion on his throne, the donkey started screaming: Your Highness, isn'...
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Possum3
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1
|
852
|
|
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Volunteer Fire Brigade.
(Preview)
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long, it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments from miles around.After fighting the fire for over an hour, the plant president approached the fire chief and said, All our secret formul...
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Possum3
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2
|
745
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|
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From a woman's perspective.
(Preview)
I was due for an appointment with the gynaecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctors office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his off...
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Possum3
|
0
|
1021
|
|
|
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Can't get worse?
(Preview)
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Possum3
|
0
|
456
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|
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Need one missing piece.
(Preview)
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Possum3
|
0
|
632
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Vasectomy.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
|
668
|
|
|
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Earle.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
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835
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|
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Cruel to laugh.
(Preview)
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Possum3
|
0
|
940
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|
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Definitely.
(Preview)
A teacher walks up to the whiteboard and writes DEFINITELY She turns to the class and says, Today well be looking at the word definitely. Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I want some volunteers to use definitely in a statement. Little Suzy raises her hand and...
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Possum3
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0
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749
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|
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5 Times.
(Preview)
An actual Diahatsu ad from 1996.
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Possum3
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0
|
624
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Showering.
(Preview)
How To Shower Like A ManTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making thewoo-woo sound.Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no).Adm...
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Possum3
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1
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638
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Luck.
(Preview)
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Possum3
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0
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739
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just for a laugh xx
(Preview)
Ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him .One official said to him: "You have observed the white man for 90 years.You have seen his wars and his technological advances.You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."The...
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Possum3
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0
|
798
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|
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Why?
(Preview)
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his companys Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didnt taste like alcohol at all. He didnt even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Opening his eyes, the first thing th...
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Possum3
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0
|
761
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|
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Angus the .........
(Preview)
Angus and his best pal McTavish are sitting around in the pub.Angus takes a long pull at his drink, looks out the door and says,"Angus, you see that bridge out there?"His friend replies,"Aye Angus, that I do""S'a goood Bridge that is"Angus says,"Built it with me bare hands I did....""But do they call...
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Possum3
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2
|
959
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