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In Court.....
(Preview)
"So let me get this straight" the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man". "That's correct" says the defendant. "Upon which" continues the prosecutor "you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her". "That's correct" says t...
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aussie_paul
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1
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898
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Pet Python
(Preview)
This blonde was selling her pet python on eBay. A bloke rang up and asked if it was big. She said "It's massive". He said "How many feet?" She said "None. It's a snake you idiot!"
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aussie_paul
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0
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852
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Maths
(Preview)
Mathematics: This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic. This is a strictly ..... mathematical viewpoint... and it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those peo...
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Bobdown
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2
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801
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FOR THE RURAL COMMUNITY
(Preview)
some things you just can't explainThe farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain.""So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked.The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left...
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aussie_paul
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1
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841
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When you're a child...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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814
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Final Inspection
(Preview)
The policeman stood and faced his God,Which must always come to pass.He hoped his shoes were shining.Just as brightly as his brass."Step forward now, policeman.How shall I deal with you?Have you always turned the other cheek?To My church have you been true?"The policeman squared his shoulders an...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1201
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ONLY A GRANDMOTHER WOULD KNOW....
(Preview)
A Cup of Tea made with cold water.One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favourite toys.Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea'...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1034
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If at first...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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663
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Golfer has an accident... 🙂
(Preview)
A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him."I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!""Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Plea...
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aussie_paul
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0
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523
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Blond Men...
(Preview)
Well FINALLY, it just had to come to this sooner or later!A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."------------------------------ ------A blond man spies a letter lying on h...
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aussie_paul
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0
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455
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Asked the kids...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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751
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Cheap Renewables
(Preview)
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anolphart
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4
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1093
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Sad Indians
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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1
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956
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Eco Warrior
(Preview)
When other activists glued themselves to the floor of the Volkswagen plant - also in Germany, Volkswagen management sent all the employees home and turned the lights out. When they came in the next day, the activists complained that they had to pee and poop in their pants. I'm starting to like th...
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anolphart
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0
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746
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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3
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1039
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sailing to Italy
(Preview)
A young Sydney woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Harbour. Just before she could throw herself off Circular Quay, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow y...
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Craig1
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0
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491
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Gangsta Nanny...
(Preview)
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and,upon returning to her car, found four malesin the act of leaving with her vehicle.She dropped her shopping bags ...and drew her handgun,proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs,"I have a gun, and I know how to use it!Get out of the car - NOW!"The four men d...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1044
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I did not....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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773
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God's plan for aging
(Preview)
Most seniors never get enough exercise.In His Wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.And God looked down and saw that it was good.Then God saw there was another need.In His Wisdom He made seniors l...
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aussie_paul
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0
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582
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Matto
(Preview)
Matto from the Woolworths Everyday Home Insurance ad reckons he has his own piece of paradise, to me it looks like just another piece of suburbia! He also needs to sell his ride on mower and buy a push mower!! Collo.
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Collo
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5
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1337
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