Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Bobdown · Bobdown

Bobdown · Bobdown

Remember, the next time you dislike your life, it's all about perspective. I have a friend who reads 2 to 3 books a week, works out twice a day, has no financial worries, and has people who want to have sex with him all the time. And yet he constantly complains about how much he hates prison.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Tennessee couple Dave and Edwina Kosmitus, both Bona Fide rednecks, had nine children.They went to see their Doctor to get Dave "Fixed".The Doctor asked them why had the come to the conclusion that they didn't want any more children.Dave said that they had read a recent article in the newspaper tha...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Tennessee couple Dave and Edwina Kosmitus, both Bona Fide rednecks, had nine children.They went to see their Doctor to get Dave "Fixed".The Doctor asked them why had the come to the conclusion that they didn't want any more children.Dave said that they had read a recent article in the newspaper tha...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him. She says, 'Hello.'He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'Now his mind travels back to the only t...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, worn out after a tough shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:"Well, that's great.......

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the Hospital.While on the operating table she had a 'near death' experience.....Seeing God, she asked.."Is my time up?"...God said, " No you have another 33 years, 2 months, 8 days, four hours and 31 minutes to live....."Since she had so much time t...

rgren2 · rgren2

Bobdown · Bobdown

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers.She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000.Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Lawyer & the Engineer.A lawyer and an engineer were fishing while on holiday and began talking.The lawyer said, Im here because my house burnt down and everything was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.Thats quite a coincidence, remarked the engineer. Im her...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A couple of anthropologists fly to the South Sea islands to study the locals. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work.A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague his doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a grou...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.As he caught himself by grabbing the bannister, his b...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One of the best... (Preview)	aussie_paul	1	893	07:52 PM Jun 28, 2023 by Southern Cruizer
	I don't wanna... (Preview)	aussie_paul	2	1030	07:51 PM Jun 28, 2023 by Southern Cruizer
	And that's... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	778	12:56 PM Jun 28, 2023 by aussie_paul
	The farm trip.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	1	947	07:38 PM Jun 27, 2023 by Southern Cruizer
	Closed topic (Preview)	Bobdown	3	1048	04:47 PM Jun 27, 2023 by Plain Truth
	Inspirational (Preview) Remember, the next time you dislike your life, it's all about perspective. I have a friend who reads 2 to 3 books a week, works out twice a day, has no financial worries, and has people who want to have sex with him all the time. And yet he constantly complains about how much he hates prison.	Bobdown	0	592	11:26 AM Jun 27, 2023 by Bobdown
	Making Sense. (Preview) A Tennessee couple Dave and Edwina Kosmitus, both Bona Fide rednecks, had nine children.They went to see their Doctor to get Dave "Fixed".The Doctor asked them why had the come to the conclusion that they didn't want any more children.Dave said that they had read a recent article in the newspaper tha...	aussie_paul	0	853	12:04 PM Jun 26, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Making Sense. (Preview) A Tennessee couple Dave and Edwina Kosmitus, both Bona Fide rednecks, had nine children.They went to see their Doctor to get Dave "Fixed".The Doctor asked them why had the come to the conclusion that they didn't want any more children.Dave said that they had read a recent article in the newspaper tha...	aussie_paul	0	749	11:58 AM Jun 26, 2023 by aussie_paul
	One for the teachers about to start holidays... 🙂 (Preview) A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him. She says, 'Hello.'He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'Now his mind travels back to the only t...	aussie_paul	0	723	11:51 AM Jun 26, 2023 by aussie_paul
	THE NIGHT NURSE... (Preview) A very tired nurse walks into a bank, worn out after a tough shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:"Well, that's great.......	aussie_paul	0	606	11:47 AM Jun 26, 2023 by aussie_paul
	The 65 year old Lady...... (Preview) A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the Hospital.While on the operating table she had a 'near death' experience.....Seeing God, she asked.."Is my time up?"...God said, " No you have another 33 years, 2 months, 8 days, four hours and 31 minutes to live....."Since she had so much time t...	aussie_paul	0	729	11:44 AM Jun 26, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Climate change (Preview)	rgren2	24	2542	09:08 AM Jun 26, 2023 by Gundog
	Funnies (Preview)	Bobdown	1	723	05:36 PM Jun 25, 2023 by rgren2
	Low mileage... (Preview) A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers.She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000.Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...	aussie_paul	0	810	02:21 PM Jun 23, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Morris, an 82 year-old man... (Preview) Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...	aussie_paul	0	578	02:16 PM Jun 23, 2023 by aussie_paul
	The Lawyer & the Engineer.. (Preview) The Lawyer & the Engineer.A lawyer and an engineer were fishing while on holiday and began talking.The lawyer said, Im here because my house burnt down and everything was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.Thats quite a coincidence, remarked the engineer. Im her...	aussie_paul	5	1338	09:05 AM Jun 23, 2023 by DMaxer
	Anthropology (Preview) A couple of anthropologists fly to the South Sea islands to study the locals. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work.A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague his doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a grou...	aussie_paul	1	809	01:32 PM Jun 22, 2023 by anolphart
	What percentage? (Preview) A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...	aussie_paul	2	1138	11:58 AM Jun 22, 2023 by Stretch60
	Paddy staggered home... (Preview) Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.As he caught himself by grabbing the bannister, his b...	aussie_paul	0	523	11:16 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Stutter (Preview) A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...	aussie_paul	0	537	11:14 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
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