Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, worn out after a tough shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:"Well, that's great.......

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the Hospital.While on the operating table she had a 'near death' experience.....Seeing God, she asked.."Is my time up?"...God said, " No you have another 33 years, 2 months, 8 days, four hours and 31 minutes to live....."Since she had so much time t...

rgren2 · rgren2

Bobdown · Bobdown

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers.She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000.Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Lawyer & the Engineer.A lawyer and an engineer were fishing while on holiday and began talking.The lawyer said, Im here because my house burnt down and everything was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.Thats quite a coincidence, remarked the engineer. Im her...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A couple of anthropologists fly to the South Sea islands to study the locals. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work.A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague his doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a grou...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.As he caught himself by grabbing the bannister, his b...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart" she sobs "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone ra...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.The waiter comes and takes their drink order.I would like a Sprite, said the first little piggy.I would like a Coke, said the second little piggy.I want water, lots and lots of water, said the third little piggy.The drinks are brought out and the waiter ta...

dorian · dorian

Not to make light of the situation, but I found it amusing that the target of a racial slur was reported by the ABC to be of "Kiwi and Samoan heritage". New Zealand abandons soccer friendly with Qatar mid-game after allegations of racism towards Michael Boxall: [url]https://www.abc.net.au/news/...

anolphart · anolphart

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

anolphart · anolphart

A small boy was lost at the beach, so he went up to a lifeguard and said, "I've lost my dad! The lifeguard said, "What's he like? The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Bobdown · Bobdown

Put up or shut up......... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSLMM4Adc/

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	THE NIGHT NURSE... (Preview) A very tired nurse walks into a bank, worn out after a tough shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:"Well, that's great.......	aussie_paul	0	579	11:47 AM Jun 26, 2023 by aussie_paul
	The 65 year old Lady...... (Preview) A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the Hospital.While on the operating table she had a 'near death' experience.....Seeing God, she asked.."Is my time up?"...God said, " No you have another 33 years, 2 months, 8 days, four hours and 31 minutes to live....."Since she had so much time t...	aussie_paul	0	700	11:44 AM Jun 26, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Climate change (Preview)	rgren2	24	2497	09:08 AM Jun 26, 2023 by Gundog
	Funnies (Preview)	Bobdown	1	701	05:36 PM Jun 25, 2023 by rgren2
	Low mileage... (Preview) A blonde wanted to sell her car but she couldnt find any buyers.She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many kilometres she had on her car. She answered, 300,000.Her fried told her that was the problem. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put it down to 70,000 kms. A couple...	aussie_paul	0	780	02:21 PM Jun 23, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Morris, an 82 year-old man... (Preview) Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...	aussie_paul	0	560	02:16 PM Jun 23, 2023 by aussie_paul
	The Lawyer & the Engineer.. (Preview) The Lawyer & the Engineer.A lawyer and an engineer were fishing while on holiday and began talking.The lawyer said, Im here because my house burnt down and everything was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.Thats quite a coincidence, remarked the engineer. Im her...	aussie_paul	5	1313	09:05 AM Jun 23, 2023 by DMaxer
	Anthropology (Preview) A couple of anthropologists fly to the South Sea islands to study the locals. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work.A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague his doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a grou...	aussie_paul	1	782	01:32 PM Jun 22, 2023 by anolphart
	What percentage? (Preview) A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...	aussie_paul	2	1116	11:58 AM Jun 22, 2023 by Stretch60
	Paddy staggered home... (Preview) Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.As he caught himself by grabbing the bannister, his b...	aussie_paul	0	500	11:16 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Stutter (Preview) A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...	aussie_paul	0	512	11:14 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Newlyweds.. (Preview) The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart" she sobs "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone ra...	aussie_paul	0	452	11:12 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Pigs in a restaurant. (Preview) Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.The waiter comes and takes their drink order.I would like a Sprite, said the first little piggy.I would like a Coke, said the second little piggy.I want water, lots and lots of water, said the third little piggy.The drinks are brought out and the waiter ta...	aussie_paul	0	785	01:32 PM Jun 21, 2023 by aussie_paul
	I thought kiwis were birds (Preview) Not to make light of the situation, but I found it amusing that the target of a racial slur was reported by the ABC to be of "Kiwi and Samoan heritage". New Zealand abandons soccer friendly with Qatar mid-game after allegations of racism towards Michael Boxall: [url]https://www.abc.net.au/news/...	dorian	0	714	11:41 AM Jun 20, 2023 by dorian
	Dolly and Ruby (Preview)	anolphart	1	735	05:04 PM Jun 19, 2023 by Southern Cruizer
	Love... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	772	05:36 PM Jun 18, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Lost boy (Preview) A small boy was lost at the beach, so he went up to a lifeguard and said, "I've lost my dad! The lifeguard said, "What's he like? The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"	anolphart	0	714	09:00 PM Jun 17, 2023 by anolphart
	Back in the day.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	790	12:46 PM Jun 17, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Rent a crowd... (Preview) Put up or shut up......... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSLMM4Adc/	Bobdown	2	936	11:07 AM Jun 17, 2023 by peter67
	Mums... (Preview)	aussie_paul	1	797	04:20 PM Jun 16, 2023 by Possum3
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