On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me;

I=m glad we bought a turkey and a Christmas tree

On the second day of Christmas, much laughter could be heard,

as we tucked into the turkey - a most delicious bird

On the third day we entertained the people next door;

The turkey tasted just as good as it did the day before.

On the fourth day of Christmas, poor Gran was looking old;

We finished off the Christmas Pud and had the turkey cold

On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes flurried

But we were nice and warm inside - we had the turkey - curried.

On the sixth day I must admit - the Christmas spirit died;

The Children fought and bickered and we had the turkey - fried.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love he did wince;

when we sat down at the table and was offered turkey mince.

On the eight day the nerves were getting frayed, the dog had run for shelter-

I served up turkey pancakes with a glass of Alka Seltzer.

On day nine our cat left home and Dad was getting blotto.

He said he had to have a drink to face the turkey risotto.

On the tenth day the booze had gone except for homemade brew;

And if that wasn=t bad enough we suffered turkey stew.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Christmas tree was moulting,

the fruit pies were as hard as rocks and the turkey was revolting.

The twelfth day my true love had a smile on his lips;

the guests had gone, the turkey too and we dined on .... fish and chips!