The  couple  were 85 years old and had been married  for sixty years.
Though they were far from  rich, they managed to get by because they
watched their pennies.


Though  not young, they were both in very good health,  largely due to
the wife's insistence on healthy  foods and exercise for the last
decade.
One  day, their good health didn't help when they  went on a rare
vacation and their plane crashed,  sending them off to Heaven.


They  reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter  escorted them inside.
He took them to a  beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine
silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a  waterfall in the master
bath.  A maid could  be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the
closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he  said, 'Welcome to Heaven.  This
will be  your home now.'


The  old man asked Peter how much all this was going  to cost.  'Why,
nothing,' Peter replied,  'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
The old man looked out the window and right  there he saw a
championship golf course, finer  and more beautiful than any ever
built on  Earth..
'What  are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied.   'You can play for free, every  day.'





Next  they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish  buffet lunch,
with every imaginable cuisine laid  out before them, from seafood to
steaks to  exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man.   This is Heaven, it is
all free for you to  enjoy.'
The old man looked around and  glanced nervously at his wife.
'Well, where  are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and  the
decaffeinated tea?,' he  asked.
That's  the best part,' St. Peter replied.  'You  can eat and drink as
much as you like of  whatever you like and you will never get fat or
sick.
This is Heaven!'


The  old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure  or...'
'Never  again.  All you do here is enjoy  yourself.'

The  old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and  your f....ing bran
Flakes.  We could have  been here ten years ago!'