. You know, stop lights dont come any redder than the one you just went through
2. Relax, the handcuffs are tight because theyre new. Theyll stretch after you wear them a while
3. If you take your hands off the car, Ill make your birth certificate a worthless document
4. If you run, youll only go to jail tired
5. Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because thats the speed of the bullet thatll be chasing you
6. You dont know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?
7. Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I dont think it will help. Oh, did I mention that Im the shift supervisor?
8. Warning! You want a warning? O.K, Im warning you not to do that again or Ill give you another ticket
9. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
10. Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop
11. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven
12. Just how big were those two beers you say you had?
13. No sir, we dont have quotas anymore. We used to, but now were allowed to write as many tickets as we can
14. Im glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail
AND THE WINNER IS.
15. You didnt think we give pretty women tickets? Youre right, we dont. Sign here
Possum; AKA:- Ali El-Aziz Mohamed Gundawiathan
Sent from my imperial66 typewriter using carrier pigeon, message sticks and smoke signals.
I reserve the right to arm bears :)
