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Post Info TOPIC: 11 Commandments for Marrriage


Guru

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11 Commandments for Marrriage


The 10 Commandments of Marriage

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heavenbut then again, so is thunder and lightning

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand-- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating.  In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.  In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.  In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;  the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said.  After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook but the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.  That is why one can treat the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married.  After that, he is finished.

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.  The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin. 

The husband decided to make a wish too but he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. 

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, 'It really works!'



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Cheers Craig



Chief one feather

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Posts: 17416
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Craig1 wrote:

 

The 10 Commandments of Marriage

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heavenbut then again, so is thunder and lightning

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand-- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating.  In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.  In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.  In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;  the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said.  After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook but the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.  That is why one can treat the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married.  After that, he is finished.

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.  The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin. 

The husband decided to make a wish too but he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. 

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, 'It really works!'


 

Mate, posting something like that you will be sleeping in the dog house for a while. I hope you spoil your dog and his house has aircon. 

 

 

 



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Senior Member

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Posts: 108
Date:

Re number 8. I was told I was allowed 16 wives

4 better

4 worse

4 richer

4 poorer



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Guru

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Posts: 655
Date:

Marriage is an eye opener
Marriage is a can opener.
I would do it all again after 52 years with my wife.

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Happy Camping

Graeme

 

 

I was always taught to respect my elders,

but it keeps getting harder to find one.



Guru

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Date:

2 in front of me Graeme, so pretty good

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Cheers Craig

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