Yesterday my son e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Other than making knives and sitting around the computer drinking rum isn't a good thing". (Talking about me "doing-something-useful" seems to be his favorite topic of conversation.)

He is "only thinking of me," he said, and suggested, I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the fellas. So, I did and when I got home, decided to play a prank on him. I sent him an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club.

He replied, "Are you nuts? You're 79 years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I told him that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to him.

Immediately, he telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."

"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!" The line went dead.