Pat and Mick were walking down the village street when they came across the priest.

"Hello father they say".

"Hello boys and how ye both today"

"We are very well"

"Now lads I wonder if you could a little job for me?"

"Anything father".

"The flagpole at the church is well past its use by date and has to be replaced. Could you measure it so that I can order a new one?"

Down to the church they go and Mick decides that the best way to do the job is to shimmy up the pole with a tape measure while Pat holds it at the base, after many attempts which result in two feet gained and three feet lost he is getting nowhere fast, when Murphy comes along.

"Watch yer doin up there Mick?"

"Measuring the flag pole for the father" says Mick.

After a couple of moments contemplation Murphy says,

"If you take those two bolts out of the base you can lay it down"

"Thats no bliddy good Murphy, tis the height we want not the length"