Arriving home, a  husband was met by his sobbing wife.  Tearfully she  explained, "The  Chemist.
He insulted me this morning on the phone. I had to call  multiple times before he  would even answer the phone."
The  husband  drove down to confront the Chemist to demand an  apology.

Before he  could  say more than a word or two, the Chemist said "Now, just a minute  mate . . . .  hear my side of it.

This morning the alarm failed to go  off, so I was  late.    Without breakfast  I hurried out to the car to  realise I'd locked
the house with the house  and car keys inside.  I Had to  break a window to get my  keys. Driving a   little too fast, I  got a speeding ticket, Then about three  streets  from the store, I had a flat tyre.   When I finally  got to the store, a crowd of people were  waiting for me to open up.
I  started waiting on these people, all the time  the damn phone never stopped  ringing.

Then I had  to  break open a bag of one and two dollar coins against the cash register  drawer to  give change and they spilled all over the  floor. 

 I had to get down  on my hands and knees to pick up the  dollar coins and the phone was still  ringing.

 When I came up I  cracked my head on the open cash drawer  which made me stagger back against  a showcase with bottles of expensive perfumes  on it.

Half of them hit  the floor and broke.

Meanwhile, the phone is still  ringing with no let  up.

And I finally got to answer it.   It was your  wife.  She wanted to know how to use a  rectal  thermometer.

And believe  me  mate, as God is my witness . . . . . all I did was tell  her!