You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Alfie was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. But when he thought about it some more, he decided he'd rather be free of pain. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... A new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... Size 44 long."

Alfie laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Alfie tried on the suit; it fit perfectly.

As Alfie admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Alfie thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Alfie and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Alfie was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years," the man repeated.

Alfie tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Alfie walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Alfie thought for a moment, then said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... Size 36."

Alfie laughed, "Aha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

New suit - $400

New shirt - $36

New underwear - $18

Second opinion - PRICELESS.