One morning, I was taking a shower when our kitchen sink blocked. So she shouted to me. Come out and fix the kitchen sink.

"In a minute then." I shouted back.

"But its about to overflow all over the floor" She persisted.

So out I came, naked and dripping wet towel around waist; sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink.

This is the last action I remember performing.

Suddenly the new kitten struck without warning shed discovered fascinating dangling objects between my legs and snagged them with her needle-like claws. 

I then lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my undercarriage.

A man in this predicament can only choose the flight option. and as I was fleeing straight up into the air, the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent, knocking me out cold.

When I awoke, the paramedics and "She" stood over me.

Now I imagine there cant be many things in this life worse than finding yourself lying on the kitchen floor naked in front of a group of been-there, done-that paramedicsbut somehow I lived through it all.

A few days later I finally made it back in to work, where my colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about the head injury.

 I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

"Whats the matter?" They all asked. "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew.