1. My best mates and I played a game of hide and seek. It went on for hours... Well, good friends are hard to find.
2. Youre not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.
3. I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, Im okay.
4. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and theyre gonna pay. You have my Word.
5. On the other hand, you have different fingers
6. Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible". Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
7. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
8. eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
9. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
10. My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.
11. Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap.
12. My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
13. And the Lord said unto John, Come forth and you will receive eternal life.But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
14. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
15. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
16. How did I escape Iraq? iRAN.
17. To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!
18. Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" Dad: "No sun."
19. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
20. My math teacher called me average. How mean!
Possum; AKA:- Ali El-Aziz Mohamed Gundawiathan
Sent from my imperial66 typewriter using carrier pigeon, message sticks and smoke signals.
Make it Snappy......Bob