Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
Sharon Stone
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
Tiger Woods

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams