"I've had enough and left you, don't bother coming after me." and hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom,

 she could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. 

After a few minutes he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone - 

"She's finally gone ... yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to pick you up, put on the sexy French ****,

I love you".

He hung up, grabbed his keys and left. 

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes

she grabbed the note to see what he wrote;

"I can see your feet.  Stop being retarded, we're outta bread, throw the kettle on, back in 5 minutes.

A devoted husband ora fool

Jay&Dee