A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans but was told by the clerk, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat.

Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat." So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food. 

The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof.

So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food. 

One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.

The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her.

So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and exclaimed, "That smells like crap." 

The lady replied, "It is. I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."