The RSM of a Scottish regiment walks in to a chemist shop carefully unwraps a small paper bag and plonks a tatty, beat up, worn and torn condom on the counter, Hoo much tae repair this? he asks. Chemist looks it over and replies, Hmm, looks pretty bad, a repair will cost you two shillings . . . The RSM thinks it over, Hoo much fer a new one? . . . The chemist replies a new condom would cost five shillings. The RSM picks up the condom, replaces it in its paper bag, and walks out. Returns the next day, plonks the condom on the counter . . . The regiment has decided tae have it repaired . . .