Bill wakes up in hospital covered in bandages from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says to Bill, "Well Bill, you've be in a very serious accident, but you'll be OK. The only thing is, is that your penis was badly damaged and we had to remove it" Bill draws breath and is mortified. The doctor goes on "But dont worry, with the latest technology we can give you a new penis....they work great, much better than the original" Bill is much relieved. The doctor continues, "However, they dont come cheap....$1000 per inch, but you have $9000 in insurance."

Bill thinks of the possibilities and a smile comes on his face. The doctor goes on "seeing you have been married for thirty years....you should talk to your wife and let me know your decision" Bill thinks about this and slowly nods his head. The doctor comes back in a few days and asks Bill "What is your decision" Bill says "We are getting granite benchtops"