A drunk walked into the local pub and, after staring at the only woman seated at the bar for some time, he walked over to her and kissed her.

She immediately jumped out of her seat and slapped him silly.

Im sorry, he said. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.

Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk! she screamed.

Funny, he muttered, you even sound exactly like her.