After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: "All 40 accounted for". "But I only have 36 sheep" says the farmer. "I know" says the sheepdog. "But I rounded them up"
Did you know that oranges are actually male or female? If it squirts in your eye without warning, it's a male. And if it's bitter for no reason, it's female.
The wife just called me. She said "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentine's Day, they are absolutely gorgeous". I replied "That's probably why they've received flowers then".